As you may or may not have noticed, I'm unhappy with my latest job assignment. I've been having a rough time of it since the beginning of the year, in fact. But I kept telling myself: "Sarah, it's just because you're in a new school in a new state. Things will get better soon". Then I would put my big girl panties on and try to get the job done without a breakdown.
Well, we're almost into week 12 and, while some procedural things have gotten easier, the bulk of my job has gotten harder (this may have something to do with the fact that for every new meeting I go to, I discover another set of paperwork to fill out!). I could give you a laundry list of why this teaching assignment is too hard for me, but I'll sum it up this way: I'm teaching 14 students while each of my deaf ed. colleagues is only teaching 5. Oh, and I have three out of the four "difficult behavior" students in the program, and two out of the three "impossible" parents.
Last week was a particular nightmare with some major behavior issues, a meeting EVERY SINGLE day after school, and a parent who yelled my ear off for a good fifteen minutes on Friday afternoon. So (after all of the sobbing stopped), I felt completely justified when I started job hunting again this weekend. I even replied to a job posting! (The fact that I would be willing to leave this school mid-year should tell you something about how difficult and stressful this job has been.)
On Monday, one of my co-workers encouraged me to talk to the Deaf ed. administrators about this situation. So I did. I was very tactful and polite but I explained that I was being stressed too thin and that it was ultimately my students who were suffering. She was very understanding and concerned that I would quit before June, and she promised she would collaborate with the other deaf ed. administrators to see what could be done to help me.
I don't like quitting and I don't like this feeling of perpetual, overwhelming stress, so I hope to goodness that someone can do something!!
5 comments:
Sarah,
I dont teach deaf kids but I teach ESE this year (last year I finished my certificate to teach ELL so of course this year they moved me out of my area for fun) I feel like I am having the EXACT same year. I have 16 students, 11 of which have IEP's. This year our district hired some new hot shot who has come in and made some COMPLETELY idiotic changes, not of least being departmentalization in grades 3-12, district wide testing every three weeks and a district wide pacing calendar...I have a MAJOR behavior issue and SEVERAL sererely disabled kids. I too am looking for jobs mid year. Good luch
Whoa. I didn't realize how bad it was, Sarah. It sure sounds like both administration and colleagues took the opportunity to "dump" on the new teacher. Je prie pour beaucoup de sagesse en prennant de décisions. Et quoi qui arrive, je sais qu'il te guide; En tout cas, je te soutien toujours!! Bisous, Mom
Sarah, we will definitely keep praying for you and this situation. How difficult this must be! Love you--Brenda
As I read your blog I thought so much of the Apostle Paul and his travails. He endured many hardships beyond what he could endure, but time and time again God made a way. You are an amazing person whom we dearly love, so we ache for you. This will turn out fine (even though it doesn't seem possible). Remember, you ARE the GOLDEN girl! You have always been blessed as God took care of you and Max (he was even jealous) more than once...Sooooo (here comes the preaching) this is a new season that our God is refining you and doing something you aren't use to and aren't quite sure about. He has a way like that. I think it is His ability to see the front and back of everything. We pray that this season will be short and more clear, but we TRUST it will be something wonderful soon enough. P.S. I wish I could say something in French code too...
On est vraiment désolé, Princess. Que le Seigneur te réconforte et, surtout, te fortifie dans Sa Grâce infinie!
Dans la prière quotidienne, papa
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