I'm Back with an Announcement!

It's been quiet around here... can you hear the crickets chirping?

From my last post, you know that I'd been having a hard year. Well it turns out that something else was in play besides just a difficult caseload.....

PREGNANCY HORMONES!!!!

Yep! My first trimester was not filled with morning sickness... it was filled with CRANKINESS! Even though we're thrilled about baby, those first few months I was in a terrible mood (especially at school!).

I'm at six months now and feeling great! I'm starting to get the nesting urge... :)

During these last few months as I've taken a prolonged absence from this blog, I've developed other interests. I've found it's much more fun to blog about my crafting life than my teaching life.

I'm so glad I wrote so much during these last five or six years of teaching - I never want to forget those memories (or all of you bloggy friends I've made along the way)! I'll be returning to the classroom once the baby is born, but in a part-time capacity. In the meantime, I'm having so much fun blogging over at my other blog: Yes Teacher Crafts.

I'd love to have you join me there!

Job Hazards for the Kindergarten/First Grade teacher

From mildly annoying to downright unsafe, here's a brief list of job hazards for the early elementary teacher:

1. Getting the "days of the week" song stuck in your head.

2. Being referred to every once in a while as "mom".

3. Cleaning up the occasional vomit and/or pee.

4. Paper cuts.

5. Bladder infection from holding it too long.

6. Getting covered in glitter and finding it on your person even days later.

7. Getting sick from school germs.

8. Getting the "months of the year" song stuck in your head.

9. Getting your hands covered in various spots of marker.

10. Getting knocked over from a spontaneous (and lovingly violent) hug. 

Whaddaya think? Did I miss any?

Teacher = Miracle Worker

Yep. I'm about at that point where I take stock of the students on my caseload and the learning expectations, and declare that I'm expected to make miracles happen. I mean, how else am I going to get 5 kindergartners and 3 first graders who are at least a year behind grade level up to speed? 

It's easy to get overwhelmed - especially when you add all of the other pressures of teaching into the mix.

It's at times like these where I need to slow down and get back the right perspective. Twenty years down the road, my students are not going to remember if they mastered rhyming words in Kindergarten. They won't remember if they got all caught up by the end of the academic year.

But what they will remember? Me. 

Was I the stressed out teacher who didn't have time to smile? The teacher who gave them an endless stream of worksheet packets? The teacher who often raised her voice in frustration?

Or was I the teacher who showed them I cared? Did I smile and laugh and slow down enough to follow their tangents sometimes? Did I go the extra mile to make a dry curriculum fun and engaging? Did I let them know they were loved?

via

I'm still striving to be the caring teacher, as overwhelmed as I feel sometimes!!

advice for a new teacher

I had a new reader recently email me to ask for advice for "hopeful special education teachers-to-be". It made me think about my six years in various special education placements.

It really boils down to two three important pieces of advice:

1. A happy and healthy teacher is a more effective teacher. 
You will quickly find out that you could spend 24/7 in your classroom and STILL not get everything done that you wanted to do. There's always something you could be doing better. Do yourself a favor and set boundaries on your time. During my first year of teaching, I came home at 5 PM everyday (kids were dismissed at 3) whether I was "done" with my work or not. It saved my sanity, and it may well have saved my marriage. The workload gets slightly easier after the first few years, but maintaining balance is always crucial.


2. Always remember: you are teaching children, not curriculum!
Good ol' Mr. Rogers said it best: 

It's easy to convince people that children need to learn the alphabet and numbers. How do we help people to realize that what matters is how a person's inner life finally puts together the alphabet and numbers of his outer life?

What really matters is whether he uses the alphabet for the declaration of war or the description of a sunrise, and his numbers for the final count in Buchenwald or for the specifics of a new bridge.

3. Hang in there!
There are going to be days that you are going to wonder "Why in the world am I doing this? I did NOT sign up for this!!". There are going to be days where you are so tired, you won't remember how to spell your last name. Days when it feels like the whole world is against you: parents, students, colleagues, administrators, President of the United States. Days when you've made 4,000 decisions and don't have it in you to answer a simple yes-or-no question at the dinner table. On those days remember: "I am choosing to make a difference in the lives of children society would rather forget. However hard, however stressful, however tiring, it is worth it. The kids are worth it."

What important piece of advice would you give a new teacher?

Where teacher gifts go to die

Somewhere out in the universe, I can picture a large warehouse. In this warehouse, there's a thick layer of yellow dandelions carpeting the floor. There are shelves that reach to the ceiling filled with dollar-store-chocolate, kitschy stuffed animals, teacher mugs, miniature snow globes, and cheap picture frames.

Yes, my friends. I'm talking about the Land of Teacher Gifts.

The other day, I was supervising the first graders as we took our bathroom  break. "Trent" came out of the bathroom stalls holding a yellow dandelion for me. Seeing as how he didn't enter the bathroom with that "flower', and we hadn't gone outside for recess, I was a little hesitant to accept his spontaneous gift.

I said: "Ummm, that's okay, you hold on to it for a while, I don't have anywhere to put it at the moment."

Three hours later, at the end of the day, Trent presents me with the same yellow flower (albeit a little more smooshed and droopy). He was so proud and had this beaming grin, so I really had to take it.

And later, when all the children had left the premises, I placed his kind gift in the trash can. I'd like to to think that I sent it off to a better place. The Land of Teacher Gifts.

a horror story from the trenches of student teaching

My very first teacher observation was during my first semester of student teaching in a resource room for kids with learning disabilities.

I remember it well because it was traumatic.

I hadn't previously met the man who came to do my observation; he was part of the college faculty in the education department, but not my instructor.

Anyhow, I had a great lesson planned. I was going to teach a small group (just two first graders) about telling time to the hour. FIRST MISTAKE. Don't ever teach time or money while being observed. Just trust me.

As the man observed, my lesson spiraled downhill in a sort of out-of-control, catastrophic disaster of epic proportions. At least, that's what it felt like at the time. The kids totally didn't get it, and I wasn't on top of their impulsive and distractable behaviors.

When he pulled me into the library so he could talk about my lesson, I knew that it hadn't gone well and as soon as he started talking, I burst into tears.

And soon my tears in front of this stranger turned into little sobs. Then bigger sobs. Then I was so embarrassed that I wanted to die!

He sat in stone-like silence during my whole meltdown. When it seemed like I was maybe starting to breathe normally again, he asked very stoically: "Are you finished?"

His complete lack of compassion was so shocking. I sat there, mute, as he calmly went over my lesson. When he was done, I didn't know if I would ever teach again.

I'm happy to report that I did teach again... And teacher observations no longer scare me (I don't know how I could do worse than that first one).

What's your worst teacher observation horror story?

Maybe, maybe not

There's nothing wrong with this short video in theory. It reminds kids that if you want something, you have work hard to attain it. That skills don't just fall into your lap, you actually have to practice. This is a good message.

But I saw it at our professional development day today, and it rubbed me the wrong way. I would just hate for some poor kid to dedicate his whole life to becoming an NBA star - putting in all that hard work, all that practice, all the sweat and tears. And maybe he makes to the NBA, but maybe not. Maybe he just ends up in division one basketball and that's it. Or maybe he makes the varsity high school team. But he doesn't accept that and his life becomes one big frustration... maybe even failure.

I'm not saying kids shouldn't strive to be all that they can be. But I am saying I'm getting a little sick of every Disney movie promising every kid that they can be whatever they want to be, all they have to do is BELIEVE!

I'm never going to be a famous singer. I can carry a tune, that's about it. If I was dedicated and practiced and took voice lessons, I could maybe join a choir somewhere and sound decent. But I won't be signing multi-million dollar record labels. There's something to be said about having a natural gift for something.

I think each one of our students has a lot of potential and many hidden talents and gifts. And they should be given every chance to grow their talents and gifts and become all that they can be.

But not everyone will be the next Michael Jordan. Not everyone CAN be.

where's the remote control?

I'd love to have a remote control for life.

We're back to school today and it's a whopping ten weeks until our next break. Honestly, if I had a remote control, I'd fast forward to June!

In the meantime, I'm going to remember that this school year has been the EASIEST of my career. I only have eight kids. I practically just teach one grade level. I work with a fantastic team of teachers. None of my kids have major behavior issues and none of their parents are difficult (can I hear an AMEN?!). I've been off my principal's radar and have had no major issues with administration.

It's been an easy, breezy, beautiful year! I should probably just focus on that instead of the TEN. MORE. WEEKS.

I wonder if I could take a sabbatical?

I used to make resolutions for the new year when I was younger because I thought that was the thing to do. I don't remember what they were (get a boyfriend!) or if I kept any of them.

Nowadays, I feel like the New Year starts in September with the return to school. Except on the eve of that new year, I'm not counting down to midnight and celebrating. More like.... going to bed at nine o'clock and crying about it (kidding! Kind of...).

This year for the first time in many, I have quite a few resolutions or, as I should call them: "things-that-I'd-ideally-like-to-accomplish."

They include but are not limited to:

*write more of that novel thingy I started
*use my sewing machine in more daring ways (buttons, and zippers, oh my!)
*keep better track of my etsy business dealings (have I made a profit yet? Who knows?!)
*make more items for my etsy store
*read more great novels (recommendations anyone?)
*volunteer somewhere local over the summer
*take an art class of some kind, just for fun!

But do you see the problem here? The one little thing that might prevent me from accomplishing all of those lovely resolutions?

It's called a day job.

eating in class

I was in seventh grade. I was sitting in Science class, and it was quite early in the morning. It was still dark out, so it must have been sometime in the winter.

I forget what the teacher's point was.... all I remember is that she had a 2-Liter bottle of Sprite sitting unopened on her desk.

She picked it up and held it in front of us. "Who can tell me some of the properties of Sprite?" she asked.

No one answered.

"Come on, now. What does it taste like?"

I raised my hand: "I think it would be easier to answer this question if we all had a taste of the Sprite."

To my utter surprise, she reluctantly agreed (it may have been all of the excited cheering coming from the rest of the students). And we all had a cup of pop that morning.

I honestly couldn't tell you anything else about seventh grade science. I don't even remember that teacher's name! But I do remember the day we talked about the properties of Sprite.

Taste is a powerful thing, and I hope to incorporate more of it into my lessons! Maybe not quite to this extent (I don't have the leeway to veer too far from our basal reader series), but maybe in smaller doses....

The teacher who had my kids last year read this book to them:

Then she did a whole week's unit on pumpkin stuff and at the end they had a pumpkin tasting: pumpkin soup, pumpkin donuts, pumpkin seeds, and pumpkin bread!

If you ask my kids today what they remember about Kindergarten, they will all start yelling about pumpkin food! I'm thinking of creating a literature unit on the sequel to that book, and incorporating a "tasting" as well!

Do you like to incorporate taste into your lessons? How do you do it?

i hope i didn't just jinx it all

Things have been going well. Suspiciously well.

I'm the only one of the three deaf ed. teachers that has an AWESOME general ed team to work with. The first grade teacher that I work with is so nice and so easy to get along with. She's in her sixties and she's still a fantastic teacher! We plan for and teach Science together and so far it's been super fun.

The mandatory lesson plan format that we need to turn in to the principal every week has changed so that it's actually a working document I can teach from! No more double lesson planning!!

I get to work with an aide this year! Two adults in the room for six children during Language Arts.... it doesn't get much better than that!

I'm on top of my data collection (to chart progress) for the first time in.... oh, ever.

I like each of my kids and there are NO behavior problems that are beyond me!!

So far, it's shaping up to be a great year... go knock on some wood for me!

the crazy continues

I was warned when I was in college that teachers have tantrums too.

"No.... not me! I'm so on top of everything, I would never let that happen!"

Haha.

In the first two years of my teaching career, I had several little breakdowns (not in front of the kids, mind you...). Sometimes they involved yelling to myself in the car. One time I threw my keys against the inside of my classroom door and shrieked in frustration (true story!). One afternoon, I was crying little sobs underneath my teacher desk.

There are just things that happen to make your job harder that come out of left field! Like this week....

1. I already have a new student.
2. I have to hold a temporary IEP for this student BEFORE Monday!
3. We were supposed to have a teacher workday all day on Friday but OOPS one more three hour meeting just special for you deaf ed. teachers... forgot to tell you until just now!
4. New school policy: we can't touch the copy machine or the laminator. All requests must be filed two days in advance (DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED!!)

So last night, it was completely understandable that when I clicked to watch this strangely charming video, I laughed so hard I cried..... But then I COULDN'T STOP CRYING.

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

Unless all of you had the same reaction I did, that was definitely my first mini-breakdown of the school year!

goodbye and hello

Did you know that I'm actually two people on the inside? Yes, two. There's Summer Sarah and School Sarah.

Poster from Pigtails and Peonies

 Summer Sarah is relaxed. She keeps the house clean, she does laundry, she even cooks. She has all the time in the world to write her novel, to make her cards, to try stuff on the sewing machine, to read great novels. Fridays and Sundays mean nothing to her! She gets to spend every moment with her husband and they laugh a lot. Summer Sarah is very happy.
 
 

Poster from Claire and Me Designs

School Sarah is stressed out. She is always too busy, too tired, too overwhelmed. She thinks there's not enough time in the day to get everything done and this is exasperating to her. Working out becomes more of a chore. And household duties? Forget it! Fridays are her best friend and Sunday nights are her worst enemy. She doesn't get to see her husband as often, and this makes her sad. School Sarah misses Summer Sarah VERY much.



Max reminded me yesterday that this school year is going to be better than last school year. I'll only have eight kids instead of fourteen. I'll get to work with an aide in my classroom. I won't have that one kid anymore.

So maybe....

just maybe....

a little of Summer Sarah will get to stay!

a rude awakening

Today I went to Day 2 of a three day training for reading workshop. It's a statewide event, so there were TONS of teachers there.

I managed to find two other teachers from my school and we met up for lunch. On our way back to our afternoon sessions, I asked "Paula" how she liked being a teacher. Paula came to our school in January of last year to take over a Kindergarten class. She had been a banker for a number of years before her career change.

Here's what she had to say:

You know, it's funny. It seems like every time I turn around, another assessment is due. I feel like I'm always testing. I always thought that as a teacher, I would be doing more..... teaching.

So in honor of Paula, and all of the new teachers out there who may or may not have heard this from their training programs, I offer the following chart:

Does this ring true with you?

role-model

I wish that some of our teachers could have attended our reunion. One of my favorite high school teachers was my ninth grade English teacher, and most of my "big word" vocabulary is directly because of him.

In the first week of school, he assigned two chapters of "Great Expectations" by Dickens with a list of twenty vocabulary words. Our homework? Read the chapters, look up and write out the definitions for all twenty words, and use each word in a sentence. Due the next day.

It took us forever. I remember wondering if the whole year was going to be this hard.

The next day, after we had handed in our homework, he said this:

"You guys, I just need to apologize. I did the homework too last night and it took me over two hours to complete! I had no idea it was going to take that long. From now on, it will be a much shorter vocabulary list."

We all breathed a sigh of relief.

And now, fourteen years later, I want to thank this man who taught me what "dregs" and "anathema" mean. And more importantly, I want to thank him for setting such a good example for me: teachers aren't perfect, and it takes both courage and humility to admit mistakes and correct them!

Father knows best

Way back a long time ago, when I was just a high school nerd looking into various colleges, my dad urged me to minor in Business (no matter what I chose as a major).

Little did he know that around that very same time, my best friend and I had a habit of going to the local coffee shop and dreaming about our futures. I went to an international boarding school in Germany and most of my friends were headed back to the States for college.... so my friend and I would Talk Big about our plans after high school. We were going to travel the world. We were going to join the peace corps. We were going to eat different foods, do amazing things, and immerse ourselves in other cultures.

"Can you imagine how boring it would be to, like, own a store and just live in one place forever?"

To a couple of kids who were used to country-hopping with their parents every few years, this was indeed the worst fate imaginable. So you can imagine my reaction to my father's suggestion about minoring in Business ("What? Why? Ewwww.")

Fast forward ten years into the future. Since going to college and starting my career, all I have wanted is to put down some roots somewhere. Suddenly owning a store and living in one place forever sounds very exotic. I'll still always have a thirst for traveling, but my priorities have definitely changed.

And dad's advice about Business? I maybe should have listened. Case in point. But I'll go ahead and blame my passion for teaching on that one :)

Happy Feet

 If you had asked me back in November if June 4th would ever come, I would have told you: "No way! I will die in this school building, under-resourced, under-supported, and over-worked. June 4th is just a myth."

I'm not usually this pessimistic, but I think it had something to do with the fact that I moved to a new state this year, and started teaching inner-city kids with all sorts of challenges and neediness.

In the very beginning, it felt like working here was like breaking in a new pair of shoes.

Almost immediately, I realized that there was a pebble in my shoe that didn't belong there. (Things got easier in March when I was able to remove the pebble and find a better quarry for him!)

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like there were no scenic views on my journey this school year. My stinky fifth graders kept me laughing! Other highlights included explaining the word "diarrhea" and explaining "race" (Asian, Hispanic, etc).

Usually at the end of the school year, I am full of boundless excitement. Yesterday, as I was driving home after the students' last day (staff had to report today to clean out rooms, etc), I just wanted to have a good long cry -- some sort of cathartic release to acknowledge that this year is finally behind me.

And now.... I can't wait to put my feet up!! Maybe even indulge in a manicure!! Happy Summer Break, everyone :)

Boasting and bawling

On Friday, I had to break the test results to my fifth graders. You know, the state standardized reading and math tests? The tests that are so important that every single staff meeting has been about them? The tests that are so important we forced struggling students to stay after school for two hours of tutoring on Tuesdays, Thursdays... and SATURDAYS?

Yes, those test results.

As it's kind of a big deal, I made sure to let the whole class know that:

1. I was proud of them for the amount of effort they put into to taking those tests (and how hard you try is ultimately more important in life than if you pass any one test)

2. They were not under any circumstances allowed to discuss with their classmates whether they passed or failed. [The last thing I want to deal with is boasting and bawling]

So then I broke it to them in a different room, one by one. The kids who passed were gleeful! Most passed at least one of the tests. I had one student who failed both the reading and the math. When I told him, he cried big crocodile tears.

I let the two students who failed the reading test know that I was going to be working with them for the next two weeks (until the state standardized retests) to give them a better chance of passing. We'll be working just the three of us for two hours after lunch (throwing off the rest of my schedule, but whatever, I'm just following orders).

The counselor pulled aside one of my boys to chat about the test results a little later in the day. She was kind enough to relay this conversation to me:

Counselor: "How do you feel about passing the math test?"

Student: "I feel so great. It's like I'm in a new magical place!!"

Counselor: "How do you feel about failing the reading test? I know you tried so hard and even stayed late after school to finish it"

Student: "[sigh] I'm really sad about it. But I'm happy to be working with Mrs. B. I know I will learn a lot from her."

When the counselor relayed this conversation to me (especially that last part), I wondered briefly how appropriate it would be to frame that quote and hang it behind my desk. Or get it embroidered on a pillow. Or printed on a t-shirt.

The most heartwarming type of praise is usually spoken from our students, isn't it?

Gold Star

I happened to catch this secret on PostSecret the other day (from the website: PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard).

Did you ever get stickers on your work when you were young? I vaguely remember receiving some. I know my fourth graders still love getting them (they're not stars though, they're Spongebob and Batman and other commercial heroes!).

Star stickers represent work well done. How often do we commend our students for their good work? How specific are we with our praise? "Good job" means a lot less than "I'm so proud of you for remembering all of your capitals and periods!"

And as we grow into adulthood, accolades seem to fade altogether. They'll come in the form of "employee of the month" or a small raise, or something. But I think we're all kids at heart, and we all like to be recognized for work well done. I know I feel good about myself when another teacher asks to borrow an idea I've had or some materials I've created.

And I certainly felt good about myself when Melissa of Me:Daily passed on this nice award to me this morning!


I'm blushing.

But nothing in life is free, and there are rules for this award! I'm going to share ten things about me, and then spread the love onto three other bloggers. Ready? Let's play.

1. I've never had highlights in my hair. I've always wanted to do it, but at the heart of me, I'm just too cheap.
2. Someday I'm going to write a novel (and you can't stop me!)
3. I have a serious addiction to ice cream.
4. I've eaten the same school lunch for two and a half years (recipe here). Yes, I still enjoy it!
5. I think it would be great fun to be a school librarian.
6. I thought Chicago was in northern California until I was in tenth grade.
7. I tend to lose Scrabble games because I'm too preoccupied with finding the most creative word instead of getting points.
8. I once held a rhinoceros beetle on my arm when we were in Costa Rica.
9. I'm fluent in French (for all the good it does me with my students' Spanish speaking parents...)
10. I was nineteen years old when I learned that gas isn't actually sold in the gas cans. Who knew?

And now I'm passing on the torch to these three lovely bloggers:

Momma May Be Mad: I'm so glad I found her! I love reading her honest and insightful look into her own life and struggles.

Life-Based Education (TeachEnEspanol): I love reading her reflections on her life in the classroom!

Anne-Marie with a Dash: a French teacher in Canada who blogs about things other than school (What? You mean teachers can have a life outside the classroom?!?)

And now that I have completed the steps for accepting this award, I'd love to see an "About me" list of ten random things about you! Post your list (or link to your blog post) in the comments section if you'd like to play along :).

Go hug a teacher

As I was eating my lunch in the lounge, I watched a young man in his twenties as he thanked two of his former teachers. It was so sweet to hear them catch up and to see what joy this encounter was bringing to my colleagues!

I've never had the experience of running into a former student. I mean, I only started teaching five years ago and so my oldest students are now finishing their eighth grade year! And I imagine that with all of the moving around we do, it might take some serious detective work to track me down! But one day I hope to have this experience. To see a student all grown up and discover what they've made of themselves. To feel at least some sense of pride and joy in the tiny part that I played in their lives.

And hopefully this desire of mine will inspire me to be a better teacher. I don't mean to be quicker at grading papers, or to get better at planning ahead of time, or to provide more opportunities for real reading and writing (not that those things aren't important!). I mean to be more intentional in my interactions with my students.

When you think back to your favorite teacher, you probably aren't going to remember what they taught you; you're going to remember that they cared about you. That they motivated, inspired, challenged, and encouraged you.

This is the heart of teaching.