You Know Who You Are

Dear Mail Carrier,

As I understand it, your job isn't that complex. You carry the mail from the post office to my mailbox. You carry my mail from my mailbox to the post office. The end. As I see it, you've only been doing half of your job. You see, last Monday we put a bright red Netflix envelope in our box. We were anxious to return it so that we could get another movie for the weekend. Alas, at the end of every day, we were dismayed to see it still sitting there. Sometimes, it was sitting there amongst grocery ads you dropped off. Sometimes it was sitting there among other mail. Sometimes we didn't get any mail. The point is, it's now Friday and we are left with no weekend entertainment. I'm not sure where to direct my complaint. I sure can't mail it to the post office because you and I both know that you will pointedly ignore it.

Mail Carrier, I'm not sure why you have failed so miserably in completing the other half of your job. Possibly you are too short to see into the box? Possibly you are scared of reaching in and finding a spider? Maybe the previous tenants played practical jokes and hid yucky things inside? Maybe you are new to this profession and you haven't been trained in this very difficult part of your job yet? Or maybe you are just unbelievably lazy?

Whatever the reason, just know that you are dealing with a school teacher. I have time-outs, suspension, and detention, and I am not afraid to use them!

Consider this your final warning!

Sincerely,
A Dissatisfied Customer

2 comments:

Brenda said...

Maybe the cats glued it to the mailbox for a cruel joke. Max said they bruised his apples "on purpose". I would check. Maybe it's not the mailman's fault at all.

Newman said...

Ohhhh....you are in big trouble. You may have offended the UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE and THEY are not just anybody!

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