honey, there's nothing there to sniff...

Hands down, the worst part of my day is walking the dog when I come home from work.

I get home about an hour before Max does, so I'm the one who has to run/walk Barney around the block. I love him dearly, but three factors prevent me from enjoying this time:

1. It's sweltering hot here, and I hate to sweat.
2. I'm too tired.
3. I HATE HATE HATE running (and he does need to run to get all of that energy out).

So a few days ago, I had rounded the last corner of the block, next to this house with this mean looking German Shepherd. Let's call it Shep.

Shep is very scary. Every time it sees Barney, it creeps up and starts galloping toward us silently (I always note the lack of playful barking). Shep lives behind a chain link fence, and I always move a little faster when we go by.

Well this time, it was so intent on following Barney (TEETH BARED), it wormed itself under the chain link fence. So much for the barrier separating us from sure death.

Everything happened in slow motion. Its' head was under the fence, eyes bulging with the effort. Barney and I were frozen in place. Then its' whole body was out. Then I was screaming at the top of my lungs: "NO! NO! NO! STOP! DON'T EAT MY BABY!!!" Barney immediately threw his ears down and put his tail between his legs.

Suddenly, Shep was upon us........... and the worst it did was sniff Barney's butt.

I was still terrified though, and I pulled Barney around to the owner's front door. I pounded until the owners came out, and they helped greatly by restraining Shep's out-of-control butt-sniffing.

"You'll have to excuse 'Lil Bit', she's a little crazy right now 'cuz she's in heat."

18 comments:

alicia said...

This is the 2nd funny dog post I've read tonight. Almost makes me want want, just for all the adventures I'm missin out on... ALMOST. (wink, wink.)

Anonymous said...

Barney probably knew what was coming, via doggy communication--that's why he had his tail between his legs! Love ya, Brenda

Erin MacPherson said...

Hey! Ha... this is SO funny (although I'm not sure it's funny to you!). It's so funny because I've been avoiding walking my dog recently because there's this big HUGE dog on a chain down the street and every time we walk by, the dog leaps out at you like he's going to attack you. But, then he gets jerked back by the chain... but it's still so scary.

Sharlene T. said...

This is one funny post... too funny... because you're okay.

@Erin, I'd be very careful of a dog lunging at the end of a chain... when that thing snaps, he's coming and it won't be pretty... I think it's a little different from a dog running loose in a back yard... chained dogs have looooonnnngggg memories and a bad attitude...

Sherri said...

In heat?! She was looking for love....with a butt sniff. Aren't dogs crazy? Sounded scary, but ended up funny!

Kenzie said...

I probably would have peed my pants! I am so glad you survived!

Wendy said...

Your story reminded my of a time in our old house when we were walking Lily and a "friendly" dog ran out to us and bit Lily! We stopped walking by that house! I am so glad that the "friendly" dog you ran into was in heat! Although, that could be just as bad a being bit!
Wendy

The Mommyologist said...

This was too funny!! I love that all Shep wanted was to sniff your dog's butt. You gotta love dogs!

Beverly said...

Did you realize that your dog submitted to Shep plus they were on neutral territory!
Enjoyed your story!

Charlotte said...

I have a slight fear of dogs and ones that are desperately trying to get past the fence to me always freak myself out. I always tell myself that they cannot possibly get out, as the owners must know what they are like. Your story didn't help my fear. I think I will be avoiding those houses on my walks from now on.

malia said...

this is hilarious... i am relieved barney didn't get taken advantage of!

sheila said...

:o)
With two dogs - one girl, one boy (neither fixed) I feel your pain, lol.

Over from the girl next door

Brittney said...

LOL i would have been freaking out as well, but its funny that Shep was just a lil excited about Barney!

Sarah said...

My dog can be extra friendly and tends to frighten with his kisses and affection. I have seen the same reaction many times. Thanks for sharing!

Cortney Lyon said...

That makes me say "Awe". I am actually terrified of German Shepard's because I was bitten by one when I was a teenager and I still have the scars on me leg. My husband grew up with GS's and he wants one when we get a place big enough for a dog...I just want a cuddly lap dog who wants to go for walks.

I'm signing up to follow you. I'm also a teacher.

Kimber Leszczuk. said...

That would have scared me too.

I would love to be where you are at though. I love the heat. I am a summer baby all the way. Sweat heat YES! I HATE HATE HATE the snow and we are knee deep in it right now. I would trade you locations in a heartbeat!

Argentum Vulgaris said...

It all boils down to dogs will do what dogs are supposed to do and there's nothing you nor I can do about that. Great post, I'll be back. Came from Girl next door.

AV

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

I was bit by a dog once so I am deathly afraid of other people's dogs!

I had to laugh because we have a shepherd and Jack is such a dork. He acts all badass around other dogs, but it is only a show. He likes to put up a good front. However, knowing this, I still never let him out off-leash. Shepherds are scary looking!

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