rules of the first grade

Rules of the first grade; a short list:

1. If there are nine pairs of red scissors, and one pair of yellow scissors, you must fight to the death for the yellow scissors.

2. If the teacher doesn't see your raised hand, it's perfectly acceptable to leave your desk and go tap on her arm to get her attention.

3. Even though your class takes a collective bathroom break, it's better to hold it in. That way, you can ask to go to the bathroom later, during math.

4. It's okay to take a toy to school with you, especially if you're really good at hiding it.

5. If there's a cricket/cockroach/fly/moth in the classroom, it's your responsibility to stop instruction and direct everyone's attention to the critter. Crying, yelling, pointing and saying "ew" are all acceptable ways in which to command everyone's attention.

6. It's okay to talk to your neighbor when a classmate has the floor, but it's inexcusable that someone else should be talking when you have the floor.

7. Whoever gets away with the most silly antics as we line up in the hall, wins.

8. As you walk single file down the hall, if student number 12 gives a high five to a teacher passing by, students 13 through 23 also get to give that teacher a high five.

9. During share time, if one student tells the class that they went to a Chinese restaurant over the weekend, three to five more students need to share how they went to a BETTER Chinese restaurant over the weekend.

10. You're special. The classroom rules really just apply to everyone else.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

All classroom rules are just "suggestions!" I love this list!!!

Tickled Pink said...

Too funny!

Sarah Garb said...

Sooo true. The kids must photocopy these rules and pass them out on the first day.

Anonymous said...

I love this list. This definitely applies to my kindergarteners, too!
~JM

The Goldfish Herder said...

And grade two and three! I swear you've been in my class lately... ;)

Sherri said...

This is so true! And funny, but maybe not as funny when you are the teacher...

I had a few second graders the other day trying to "one-up" each other on how much Halloween candy they each brought home. I think we got up to 5,000 pounds.

theheadsoffice said...

Brillinat! Now where & when do they learn these?! ;)

Sarah said...

So true!

Literacy Teacher said...

This is hilarious!

Sharlene T. said...

Phew! I'm so glad I'm the exception... Too old to hold all those rules in my head while I'm youthenizing! Clearly, you have a reason for all of these rules! Here's an aspiring and some hot cocoa with a Krispy Kreme... Come visit when you can...

@creativeedu said...

I highlighted your post in my Daily Digest of Education related blogs today as I thought other teachers would find it of interest. You can see it here: http://bit.ly/99Iyy1

Charlotte said...

I am living with my 5th first grader right now and you certainly have it nailed!

(For reference, this go around I am the mom who at PT conferences the teacher starts with how advanced he is academically (above grade level in all subjects) and then ends with "but there are some behavioral things we should probably discuss.")

Anonymous said...

#3

malia said...

This is perfect! Spot on. Although I think I know some grownups who follow the same rules

Elissa said...

As the owner of a First Grader I agree with all.

Underground Teacher said...

I love your list, and had a nice laugh before coffee! This still happens in the sixth grade. I think you inspired me to blog about the rules of sixth grade and seventh grade. Awesome!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Having volunteered too many times over the years I totally get this list! It was so funny and I had visuals of kids in my head as I read each point :-)

Sparkling said...

I teach 6th-8th and it doesn't stop even by then!

Maranda said...

ROFLMAO!!!! Awesome!

Cortney Lyon said...

I think you are my favorite new blog! I just read through your last 10 posts and can relate or laugh at every single one of them. Thank you, you made my day.

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