The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

Here is the copy of the email I just sent to the Swissport Baggage Tracing Office (reference number changed for confidentiality purposes):

Hi,
I'm writing to check on the status of my missing bag. My name is Sarah and my file reference number is ZRHXX-55555. One of my bags has already been delivered. The other suitcase, the one with all of the Christmas presents in it, is still reported as missing according to the IVR system.

As it is Christmas Eve, I am very concerned about the location of the missing bag. Any information you have about its whereabouts, or when I can expect to receive it would be greatly appreciated.

Also, it's been five days since I've been able to change my clothes. At what point in time does the airline compensate me for my missing clothes and toiletries?

Thank you in advance for any help you can give me.
Sincerely,
Sarah

Here is what I really wanted to write:

Hi,

Delta couldn't possibly transfer our luggage from one plane to the other in the 24 hours they had to do so. Consequently, I've been wearing the same pants for the past five days in a row. You were so kind to deliver the useless bag to us this morning (my husband doesn't care about his clothes) after two and a half days of delay.
HOWEVER, WHERE IS MY SUITCASE WITH ALL THE LOOT IN IT? I'm tired of hearing that it's missing. You may be able to compensate me for my clothes--I have nothing against shopping sprees. BUT! The presents are kind of important, and certainly not replaceable in Europe, or in time for Christmas. And no check could cover my sadness on Christmas morning, knowing that half of my family members won't have anything to open from us. Because you know that Christmas is all about the presents, RIGHT??????

Get your butts in gear.

Sincerely,
Sarah

Finally Here!

It's been 13 months since I've seen my parents.

It's been 16 months since I've seen my kid brother.

My sister and her husband fly in tomorrow.

It's been TWO AND A HALF YEARS since the last time I set foot in my home in France.

Internet, I never want to leave again. I'm off to go eat some quiche and some cheese and bread. Au revoir!

Early Christmas Present

Yesterday was an interesting day. For once, I had no behavior issues to deal with (it's a Christmas MIRACLE!!). Then, everyone was abuzz with the very good possibility of a snow day for the next day. People were beyond hope. The imminent snow day was assumed. Teachers sent home snow pants and snow boots with the kids. Kids brought in their presents for their teachers. Everyone was saying "Merry Christmas and see you next year" at the end of the day. I was pretty sure the local weatherman would be flooded with hate mail if we didn't get our snow day.

Then, after school, we had our Christmas staff party. This year, instead of our district buying us a fancy three course meal and sending us home with 40 bucks each in gift cards, we decided to adopt six needy families that go to our school and make their Christmas merry! Our district gave us gift cards to spend on our families and we went out as grade levels and shopped till we dropped! It definitely felt more fulfilling than our usual self-indulgence. After the shopping, we came back to the gym and wrapped everything and sat down to a dinner of soup and salad. It was very fun!

And of course, as everyone assumed we'd be having a snow day today, people wished each other a Merry Christmas before we all drove home.

And I know that everyone breathed a sigh of relief (like I did), when we got an automated phone message from our principal, who said:

"Well, I don't know if it was the spoons under your pillow, the backwards pajamas, or if the stars aligned just right, but you've got your snow day! Have a great break and see you in January"

But it was a little hard to hear the specifics, because all I could hear was:

Crawl to the Finish

Today wasn't the greatest. In the words of one of my first graders with autism: "But I don't want to talk about this". Let's just say that the next two days will take pure endurance to get through. Pure. Endurance.

This version of "Ode to Joy" did make me feel a little better though, so I'll leave you on this note:

Random Happenings

It has been a busy weekend. It'll be nice to get back to school and have chance to rest and relax and do nothing. Ha! Actually, that very well may be what happens in the latter part of this week because I don't see kids when they're on their field trips and having all of their Christmas fluff activities.

Max spent Saturday emptying all of our closets and even the junk under the bed to clean and de-clutter. I walked into the bedroom and stopped about twelve inches in because there was no more floor space. He told me: "Don't worry, it has to get worse to get better". I was skeptical, but he was right, and now we have a beautiful bedroom, office, and kitchen again.

While he was cleaning, I went to a cookie exchange... and now we have five days to eat sixty cookies. Can it be done? I guess we'll find out!

I'll be Home for Christmas

Well, yesterday was not a snow day for us. We did, however, get a two hour delay--meaning I had to be at school at 9:40 instead of 7:40. Unfortunately, I didn't get the call until 5:38 A.M... and by then I was already showered and dressed. So instead of crawling back into bed, I went out to breakfast (Dunkin Donuts!!!), did the week's grocery shopping, then vacuumed the house.

It's the most productive I've been all week. I can't seem to get motivated to do anything at work. I just count down the hours until the day is done. All of this Christmas anticipation is making time crawl by! Ten more days until I'm on a plane to visit my parents in France!! Until then, can I ignore school and be a couch potato, please?


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Seven Random Facts

I'd say there's about a 20 percent chance that the freezing rain they're predicting for tonight is going to last long enough for a school cancellation tomorrow.

So, to take my mind off taming my soaring hopes, (but mostly because Sarah tagged me), here's a list of seven random facts about me:

1. I was TIME's Person of the Year in 2006. Seriously. Oh, and you were too, if you blogged during that year!

2. I once ate regular M&M's in the back of a moving car when I was about five, then I threw up. I haven't been able to eat them since then. Peanut M&M's, yes. Regular? Barf. My husband tells me there's a word in psychology for that (C.R.A.Z.Y)

3. Because I spent a lot of time growing up in France, I've had the opportunity to visit many other countries. Twenty-one, to be exact. Well, technically twenty -four, if you count those wimpy countries like Monaco, Vatican City, and Lichtenstein. I just wish I had paid better attention when I was younger, because I hardly remember half of them!

4. My mom tells me that I taught my younger brother how to read in English. I have absolutely no recollection of this but I'm considering adding it to my resume...

5. My family has a pet bird (an African Grey) who used to love me, but now hates me. I still have no idea what I did to antagonize her!

6. My first kiss was on my wedding day. Some people think this is cool. Some people think this is weird and/or ridiculous. It just depends who I'm talking to :).

7. I used to think that the gas cans you buy at the store already came filled with gas. This wasn't when I was little.... this was when I was nineteen!!

Well, I'll tag the following people, but if you blog and you happened across this fun little meme, feel free to steal it!

Roller coaster teacher
Teaching Bio
Miss Teacher

There's No Shame in Begging

Dear Mother Nature,

In looking at the ten day forecast, it seems unlikely that we will get a snow day this week. There's maybe a chance on Tuesday or Wednesday but it's too early to tell how great of a chance it is.

Here's the thing. I really, really, really need that snow day. Not just to sleep in, but to get stuff done, too! I didn't realize that I only had this weekend and next weekend to get the Christmas shopping and present making done before we hop on a plane to visit my parents for the holidays!

So if you could trouble yourself to dump a bunch of snow, ice, and strong winds right over my school, that would be MUCH appreciated. Or, if it's easier, you could send an electrical storm our way and make sure that the power is down at school... that would be just as acceptable.

I know you have lots of potential weapons of danger and destruction in your power. If you could just use some of that to ensure an extra day off this week (or the next; I'm not picky), I would be happily indebted to you.

Sincerely,
Sarah

PS: PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe Next Time

Last night, sensing that there wasn't enough snow falling in order to produce a snow day, my body decided to take matters into its own hands, and made a rash decision to get sick in order to stay home.

First, it hurt to swallow. Then, my body started aching. Next, I only slept for a few hours last night as I lay in a pool of sweat, feeling nauseated. Finally, I started dry heaving after I woke up.

Checking the internet and realizing that my school would definitely be open today, I called my vice principal to tell her I was too sick to come into work today (that's our sick day procedure in our district) At 5:25 A.M, I had clearly woken her up.

VP: "What time is it?"
Me: "It's 5:25; I'm so sorry for waking you up!"
VP: "That's okay. I was really hoping we'd have a snow day today.... "

I'm disappointed too. It turns out that a sick day is MUCH less fun then a snow day!

Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

This year, I am very thankful that Thanksgiving has come late!! This means that there are only three more weeks until Christmas break instead of four! Woo hoo!

Also, my hopes are up for possible snow day tomorrow. We're supposed to get between six and eight inches in the next twenty four hours or so. I'll be throwing ice cubes in the toilet and wearing my pajamas inside out for good luck just in case :)

Ewwww.... Writing

I hate teaching writing. Every afternoon, from 1:30 to 2:10, I have three fourth-grade boys who I work with on their writing. I dread 1:30 with all of my heart. I find it to be so overwhelming tackling a student's rough draft... never mind trying to get them motivated to write something down!

You could almost say that the way I feel about teaching writing is the way Michael Scott feels about Toby Flenderson--especially the screaming part:



Today, my sixth grader with Down Syndrome pooped her pants at 1:25. I was giddy with excitement as I called the fourth grade teachers saying that I couldn't pull their kids for writing as I had to deal with an emergency situation.

That's right. I would much rather deal with poopy pants than poopy writing!!

Catspeak

How do you tell your cat that you are VERY SORRY that you accidentally closed her paw in the door (evoking a giant cat scream-yelp)?? I can't stand the reproachful looks anymore....

Yo Mama

Parents can be a strange breed. And I can say that with all confidence because a) I'm not a parent, and b) I've observed the same strangeness in my own parents!

When I was younger I got picked on. I wouldn't say I was bullied, but my diaries were filled with some mean thoughts about the unkindness of others. I remember telling my parents about how cruel some kids had been to me at school and my dad threatening to go over there and talk to them. One time, in second grade, my teacher slapped me across the face for correcting my work in pencil instead of black pen (don't worry, it was in France and they can get away with that kind of stuff over there). The next day, my dad came charging into the school yard, yelling in his newly-learned/broken French at my teacher. I think he managed the words "mean", "old lady" and "fired".

All of this to say that parents' protectiveness seems to come in many forms. Some students' parents do all that they can to get their kids into special education, to get them access to the services they need (or what the parents decide that they need). Some students' parents, as I've discovered today, do all that they can to keep their kids OUT of special education, regardless of whether their kids need the services or not.

I received a particularly angry/frustrated/defensive email this morning from a mother of a kindergartner who may qualify for special education services. There were entire words written in CAPITAL LETTERS, so I knew she was SERIOUS. The details of the letter aren't really important. What's important is that my heart kind of broke (or at least bent) for this mother. Irregardless of what I believe professionally, this woman's motivation was purely to protect her son from what she viewed to be a bad thing.

And I hope that my sympathy and understanding for her will put me in a better position to help her to see reason....

"I've Lost That Floaty Feeling"

As it turns out, waiting years and not months between dental visits is a bad idea. Stupid, really, because then you find out that you need all this work done, and then suddenly you're broke.

I was dreading today's visit to the dentist because they were putting in a crown. I wasn't exactly sure all that it entailed, but I figured if it was anything like my root canal a couple of years ago, then it wasn't going to be a walk in the park.

When I got comfortable in the chair, the dentist told me that she usually gives patients laughing gas in order to "take the edge off of this procedure". After she assured me that this was a freebie and that I wouldn't get billed for the extra "comfort", I told her to go ahead. I had never had laughing gas while awake before (when they took out my wisdom teeth when I was a teenager, they knocked me totally out), so I wasn't sure what to expect.

After about five minutes of breathing in and out of the nose cover, I asked the dentist what I should be feeling because I wasn't feeling any different than before the gas. "Oh", she said, "I guess you're not a lightweight when it comes to this stuff". So she increased the amount.

Then I spent the next hour feeling absolutely floaty, thinking about how much I loved everybody, especially Mrs. Dental Hygienist and Dr. Dentist. I had lots of warm, fuzzy feelings about my students, my family, this chair I was sitting in, and Thursdays in general. At one point I lifted my leg, but I stopped midair because I thought if I kept going I might kick the ceiling. I even thought of the perfect title if I ever write my autobiography. But mostly I felt like a pretty bubble, just floating along in the wind, totally unconcerned about everything and anything.

I totally get why people do drugs now! Not that I'll start doing drugs, but I will be counting down until my next dentist appointment! Ha!

Seated and Sated

Yup, those two words just about sum up my two-day conference. We sat a lot. We ate constantly. It was as if they were trying to distract us from the fact that most of our breakout sessions weren't very worthwhile.... at every chance they got, they shoved food at us (not that I'm complaining about the yummy food!)

The highlight of the conference was listening to the very entertaining and slightly irreverent W. James Popham, who had intelligent and helpful things to say about formative assessment. His dry wit was so hilarious; I was disappointed that they didn't let him talk more than an hour and a half!

Now if only I didn't have three more days of school to get through before I can catch up on some rest!!

Monday and Tuesday

Upcoming:

A two-day conference with hundreds of other teachers
A four-hour bus ride
Two nights at a posh, four-star hotel
Several free meals
Twelve hours of meetings

My prediction is that I'll have a great time socializing with colleagues, eating, and hanging out in my luxury hotel room but that the meetings will sour the experience! It's at times like these that I wish I had an iPhone or an iPod Touch so that I could more easily tune out the irrelevant content of the meetings. Although I don't know if I would have the guts to blatantly surf the net during a conference. Would you?

Football Fanatics

As we all know, fall is the season for football. Professional football takes over the T.V, and kids everywhere delight in flag football and touch football. At our school, the boys enjoy playing touch football during every recess that they can. One of my fourth graders really loves to play. He happens to have a prosthetic leg, and recently, he kicked the football so hard that his leg went flying across the field!! He was very matter-of-fact about the whole incident as he loudly announced to his teammates: "That's just another day in the life of a kid with a prosthetic leg!!"

I love that kids can be so resilient. He just put his leg back on and got back into the game!

And I'll be Inspector Gadget

Our school, like many schools around the country I'm sure, held mock elections. It's sweet too, because these young children are just parroting their parents when they talk about the presidential race. Apparently, they say that the person who wins the mock school elections ends up winning the real election, so I was interested to find out who our little students had elected.

As it turns out, our 2nd through 4th graders elected McCain, and our 5th through 8th graders elected Obama! So it's still up in the air I guess!

One of my kindergartners, this little guy, had to write a sentence about what he would do if he was president. When he was finished, he told his aide that in case he didn't become president, he wanted to sell "Krabby Patties" for a living--a la Spongebob Squarepants!

Election Day Should be a National Holiday

I had a fantastic weekend! It was very hard to think about going back to school. I considered calling in sick... but since I'm just coughing every so often, I didn't think it justified staying home.

I had a brief surge of hope around four this morning as I was awakened by a very loud thunderstorm. I thought: "If I have any luck at all, my school will get struck by lightning and the power outage will make us have to stay home". I even turned on my cell phone in case I got a call from the school. But the call never came. I pulled into the parking lot and my hopes were finally dashed as I spotted the lights on inside.

Is it too early for a snow day???

My Next Career will be Competitive Eating

So it seems that I may be eating too fast. I've recently had suspicions of this when I started noticing that I finish dinner before Max (sometimes WAY before) and he doesn't take much more food than I do.

I've attributed this to the fact that I have short lunches at school and must finish all of my food within a certain time frame. Because there are copies to run, phone calls to be made, emails to write, and kids to teach! Who has time to chew?

I guess this carries over to dinner time. Tonight, I ate an entire plate of food (spaghetti, green beans, and two pieces of garlic bread) in four minutes flat. I was really hungry, and also, there is Internet that must be searched, and TV that must be watched! I was aware that I was eating too fast because at one point, I flung spaghetti onto the floor and all over my pajamas. I told myself: "Sarah, slow down". But my body wouldn't listen. Just kept shoveling it in.

I guess I'll have to wait until school is out to be civilized...