caution! hard hat area -- uncoordinated teacher at work

For the last three weekdays, it's been just me, the janitors, and the principal at school. I've been trying to get things set up so that I can leave on our last vacation of the summer without wigging out at all the stuff I have to do before the first day of school.

Below are the fruits of my labor:

This is my front door. I'm going to write the names of each of my five first graders on the spyglasses. Hopefully it will have a welcoming effect!

Do you sense the pirate theme yet?

The left side of this bulletin board is for showcasing great student work. The right side is going to change on my whim. I think for the first few months, it will be for posting classroom rules.

If you're wondering why it took me three days to put up four bulletin boards (one is not pictured), LET ME JUST TELL YOU. Have you ever tried to hang butcher paper all by yourself? Without crinkling the paper? Without falling off the chair/counter/stool you're standing on? Making sure the whole thing is straight and not lopsided? It's hard work. Especially when I technically have only one bulletin board made out of cork. For the others I had to either use tape or a staple gun.

So that's why it took me so long! If only I wasn't such a perfectionist...

For all of my teacher readers out there.... have you started working in your classroom yet?

sunday, bloody sunday

Here's the thing. There's only three weeks left of my summer break. (And while saying that, I'm dodging knuckle sandwiches and evil eye glares from all my readers out there who have "real" jobs!)

Summer break is ten weeks long, but for my purposes here it's best to think of it as just a weekend.

The first month is like Friday night: you're ready to PART -TAY! You stay up late, you meet up with friends, you go out on the town, you yell Woo Hoo a lot, and have a general disregard for the future. You can still taste the sweet flavors of freedom.

The second month is Saturday. On Saturday, you sleep in late (of course!) but you end up getting out of your pajamas around noon to run some errands. You might clean the house, or work on that project you've been putting off.

The last few weeks is Sunday. Sure, you're technically still off of work, but Monday is looming a little too close in the horizon. On Sunday you might start to panic. You might finish that report that you were supposed to write, or get to those emails you were supposed to have dealt with on Friday. You may not enjoy your day very much because you're thinking about how awesome Friday and Saturday were and how LONG you will have to wait until the next weekend.

It's definitely Sunday for me over here. I've been back in my classroom, getting things ready before we go on a last little jaunt to visit the in-laws. Three out of four bulletin boards are set up. Files have been reorganized and resources have been copied. I'll go in tomorrow to tie up some loose ends (and finally realize that I'll never be able to get it ALL done before the kids come) then it's three days of professional development before our last trip of the summer.

I'm determined to squeeze out all the fun I can before "Monday"!

I still shiver at the thought

image credit

Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I kept hearing this buzzing and clanking noise near our bathroom window. Max said it was probably june bugs, which wasn't reassuring enough for me to fall asleep right away. Plus, shouldn't june bugs be gone already? I mean, it's practically August....

One june bug, I can handle. Swarms of them? Not so much.

When we were in Costa Rica many years ago, we decided to take a little overnight trip to Tortuego. We got there by boat, winding through little channels of water surrounding several small islands. Our "hotel" (and I use the term loosely!) was on one such little island. As we were getting off the boat, some tourists were just leaving to get on our boat. One lady told us how one night the hotel staff turned on the lights inside the pool to divert the swarms of june bugs away from the communal areas. 

Because june bugs can't swim and are attracted to light, the staff ended up collecting FORTY trash bags full of dead bugs the next morning.

Unfortunately, all of the june bugs didn't die in the Great Drowning of 2003. Swarms of them were still hanging out, just waiting to pounce on squeamish tourists like myself. We had to walk through a cloud of them to get from our hotel room to the dining area... Even though we ran for it, I still had pick out june bugs from my hair.

Or rather, Max had to pick some out of my hair while I screamed and tried not to jump up and down.

My happy life

I had been looking forward to my reunion in a kind of nervous-excited sort of way. I was really looking forward to seeing about four people, but was very concerned about how I would feel throughout the weekend: stereotypically you feel like your high school self when you're surrounded by your high school peeps...

Much to my surprise, I didn't feel like a completely awkward nerd this weekend! I enjoyed hanging out with all 24 people who showed up (out of a class of 71) and meeting the spouses too. We were all so much more mature and confident about who we were to be catty in the slightest.

The hotel was fantastic (our organizer got us a killer rate). We spent a lot of time hanging out, eating out, playing in the hotel pool, and playing cards. Max did so great with my friends, some of the alumni spouses asked if he had graduated with us too!!

In the midst of all the fun, I started to worry that I would feel a sense of loss after this weekend was over. [High school was awesome for most of us.... an informal poll revealed that the day after graduation was the most depressing day of our lives for more than half of us -- the other half claimed the first day of college was more depressing.] Would I be sad going home to reality after such a FUN blast from the past?

As it turns out, no. Instead of leaving high school friends and starting over in a new country where I know no one, I'm coming home to our house, our pets, my career, my friends.... my happy life!

blast from the past

Hey, are you sick of hearing about my ten year high school reunion yet? No?

Then you're in luck, because I've dug out some pictures of me during my senior year:

Ahhh..... I've come a long way!

role-model

I wish that some of our teachers could have attended our reunion. One of my favorite high school teachers was my ninth grade English teacher, and most of my "big word" vocabulary is directly because of him.

In the first week of school, he assigned two chapters of "Great Expectations" by Dickens with a list of twenty vocabulary words. Our homework? Read the chapters, look up and write out the definitions for all twenty words, and use each word in a sentence. Due the next day.

It took us forever. I remember wondering if the whole year was going to be this hard.

The next day, after we had handed in our homework, he said this:

"You guys, I just need to apologize. I did the homework too last night and it took me over two hours to complete! I had no idea it was going to take that long. From now on, it will be a much shorter vocabulary list."

We all breathed a sigh of relief.

And now, fourteen years later, I want to thank this man who taught me what "dregs" and "anathema" mean. And more importantly, I want to thank him for setting such a good example for me: teachers aren't perfect, and it takes both courage and humility to admit mistakes and correct them!

at least I wasn't arrested

Today, we're jumping on a plane headed for my ten year high school reunion. Actually, we probably won't literally be jumping on a plane. There's always lots of fun security and shoe-removing before there's any actual jumping.

I've always been terrified of walking through that little archway that's supposed to detect any metal on you. It's silly because the worst that could happen is that it beeps and then you embarrassingly remember you left  your keys in your pocket. But still. I end up holding my breath walking through that thing.

One time a few years back, as Max and I had our luggage on the conveyor belt for the see-through thingy, they stopped me and my bag.

"There's a knife in your bag," the TSA agent told me.

WHAT?

I didn't pack any knives. I was sure of it! I left all of my knives, guns, and explosives at home. Promise!

Then she unzipped the front pocket of my backpack and pulled out a butter knife from our silverware set. It was left over from a picnic or some such nonsense. We obviously couldn't board with it (you know, butter knives being as sharp and dangerous as they are) so we had to throw it away right then and there.

So much for being a seasoned traveler....

words from ten years ago

This morning, I've been looking through my high school journals. Because before there was blogging, there was journaling... And the thing about journals is that they are so much more CANDID. The words were only meant for me, and as a result my diaries are absolutely dripping with teenage angst and melodrama!

I had originally thought that transcribing a journal entry would make for a fun blog post, but as I leafed through the entries, I realized that most of it is just simply too CRINGE-WORTHY to repeat here. Case in point: I wrote twenty-two pages (front and back!) of a phone call conversation I had with a boy I liked in the tenth grade. Yes! I actually taped the phone conversation and transcribed it into my diary. To relive forever!!

I especially enjoyed reading what I had to say after I had graduated from my international high school in Germany:

"I will have no problem falling for college guys (if there are any worth falling for...)"

and

"I'm definitely NOT going to marry before the age of 25"

Little did I know that I would be celebrating my FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY when I was 25!!

And here's one more little clip that I look back on with a smile (written just before I moved to the States for college):

"I'm terrified of starting over from scratch, of leaving Europe, of leaving home, of closing the doors of my high school world, of saying goodbye to all that is dear to me.... My biggest fear in life, my absolute biggest fear, is that I will look back on my high school years as the best years of my life. I don't want my life to go downhill from here. I want my high school years to be great ones, but I also want experiences that will be even better!"

I smiled when I read those words because my biggest fear didn't come true! The best years of my life are right now (thank you, Lord!!)

Did you keep a diary when you were younger?

officially old

This summer marks ten years since both Max and I graduated from high school.

For my reunion, a nice hotel was booked (with a special discount price), a catered dinner was organized, and various activities were planned for a whole weekend of fun.

For Max's reunion? Only about half of the class was invited, and they're all just meeting up at a local bar.

We'll be out of town for Max's reunion but it sure doesn't sound like we're missing much! We will be attending my reunion this weekend and I'm excited to see everyone again. I'm tempted to wear some kind of sign, letting everyone know that I'm not as big of a nerd as I was way back when (notice that I didn't say that I wasn't a nerd!).

Thankfully, I'm not feeling too much pressure to invent the perfect life. Max and I have had some very fun adventures (and some misadventures which make for good stories) in the past ten years. But do you think it would be tacky to whip out a picture of Barney when everyone starts talking about their babies??

Father knows best

Way back a long time ago, when I was just a high school nerd looking into various colleges, my dad urged me to minor in Business (no matter what I chose as a major).

Little did he know that around that very same time, my best friend and I had a habit of going to the local coffee shop and dreaming about our futures. I went to an international boarding school in Germany and most of my friends were headed back to the States for college.... so my friend and I would Talk Big about our plans after high school. We were going to travel the world. We were going to join the peace corps. We were going to eat different foods, do amazing things, and immerse ourselves in other cultures.

"Can you imagine how boring it would be to, like, own a store and just live in one place forever?"

To a couple of kids who were used to country-hopping with their parents every few years, this was indeed the worst fate imaginable. So you can imagine my reaction to my father's suggestion about minoring in Business ("What? Why? Ewwww.")

Fast forward ten years into the future. Since going to college and starting my career, all I have wanted is to put down some roots somewhere. Suddenly owning a store and living in one place forever sounds very exotic. I'll still always have a thirst for traveling, but my priorities have definitely changed.

And dad's advice about Business? I maybe should have listened. Case in point. But I'll go ahead and blame my passion for teaching on that one :)

addicted to deleting

It's day 34 of summer and I have a whopping TWO PAGES of my novel written. Aren't you impressed? It's just that I've been super busy with my hours and hours of internet surfing, my card making, my lounging around in my pajamas in front of the TV...

Also, it turns out that writing a novel is more difficult than I thought it would be. I mean, just because I have a cast of characters written up, a sweet plot, and a suggested plot timeline doesn't mean that the words are just going to tumble out onto the page. I find it much easier to write a blog post. Writing a blog post is a lot more fun for me in number of different ways:

1. I get to use ALL CAPITALS FOR EMPHASIS.
2. I can be much more liberal in my use of exclamation points!!!! Not using them feels stifling!!
3. It's published immediately, just as soon as I hit that magic button.
4. People applaud my efforts by taking the time to comment.
5. IT ENDS SOONER.

Max suggested that I write the novel as a series of blog posts, which was an interesting idea. I'm not sure if it would work for the particular story I want to tell. Has this been done before? The closest I can think of is The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society which is written as a series of letters back and forth. Or maybe a "dear diary" type of book? I'll have to think about this.

In the meantime, the local writer's club that I belong to meets again on Monday. If I don't squeeze out some more pages before then, I'll have to explain to everyone that my writing style is mostly just pressing the backspace key.

a library is not a fruit

Some random thoughts about the library:

• Have you ever heard people call it a "li-berry"? I'm not sure if it's a regional thing, a cultural thing, or what. When Max went to a certain rinky-dink graduate school for a semester when we lived in California, their college library was in a portable. Max didn't think it deserved the extra "r" so he referred to it as the liberry. But most people who call it that don't seem to be doing so as a joke.

• I don't understand why more people don't go to the library. It's like a bookstore where all the books are FREE (just as long as you bring them back, that is). And DVDs? FREE! And entertaining/educational children's programs? FREE! I'm sure if I had kids, I'd be living at the library.

•  My local library had a book sale, and I picked up this book for my first graders next year:

 It's a must-have for teaching young children to make inferences and draw conclusions. Short text and beautiful pictures lead naturally to "why" questions. Here's my favorite page, with the text: "Never take a giraffe to the movies"

I can't wait to see what hilarious discussions ensue from my kiddos next year!

 

And...... we're back.

It's great to be back. Never mind the ten pounds of cat litter to scoop, the 726 emails to sort through, or all the bags to unpack.... I'm too busy catching up with the Internet (oh, how I have missed you!). First off, let me just say how honored and excited I was to be featured over at The Blogger's Concierge while I was away! Yay for new friends!

Okay, here are a few snapshots of our week in good ol' California (if you see an older Chinese lady in the pictures, that's my grandma!).

First off, we ate: (once I stopped gagging from decapitating the shrimp, they were actually quite delicious!)

Max and Matt brave the freezing water and the huge waves:

Then we went to Disneyland:

Matt and Rebekah were scared on all the rides:

We went to an observatory next to the Hollywood hills:

We took a free ride in this helium balloon and saw a great view of Orange County:

We went to the beach again:

We ate lots of ice cream:

All in all, we had a great time... and I think I only gained about twenty pounds from all the food grandma wanted us to eat! If you want more pictures, you can always check out the ones Max thought were blog-worthy!

California here we come, right back where we started from....

Today, we fly to California. I haven't been back to our old stomping grounds since 2007! I'm thinking of swinging by my old school... it's where I got my first teaching job and it holds all kinds of pleasant and not-so-pleasant memories for me.

It's where I went on my first field trip as a teacher. It's where I switched places with a general education teacher for a day, just to see what it would be like! And it's where decapitated gingerbread men were the perfect math lesson.

But I'm actually going there to visit with my grandma. And BONUS! My sister and her husband (either one of whom I haven't seen since January of 2009!!) are strategically planning their visit to grandma during the same week!

I have a few posts scheduled for the week, but if you don't see me around the Internet for a while, you'll know where I'm at:

I hope you'll all be here when I get back :)

Tootin' my own horn

This goes against everything I was taught (don't brag, stop showing off, don't draw attention to yourself, there's always going to be someone out there who's better than you). But today I throw caution to the wind! Upbringing be darned!

I'm here to convince you that I belong on The A List. First of all, I've been blogging since 2006 .... which makes me Time's Person of the Year for 2006. So... that's gotta count for something right?

Secondly, and most importantly, I blog about my adventures and misadventures in the classroom. This makes for some hilarious and heart-wrenching reading! Like the time when a parent asked a teacher if they could babysit for them too. Or when a student revealed her mommy's secret. Or when one of my students gave me the bad news about my future. Or my frustration over being taxed in my own school!

So if you're a student, a teacher, or a parent (or if you've ever set foot in a classroom), you're sure to find something to please you, amuse you, or anger you on this here blog. Come along and enjoy the ride!

Sleeping beauties

It was a joyful reunion yesterday, albeit a sleepy one. Something about being in the car for 27 hours straight, only having stopped for forty minutes to "sleep" during the night.

Not long after Max came home, Sawyer (the dog I was taking care of for the week) went home with his owners. As soon as he left, Barney collapsed in an exhausted heap in Max's lap, who was himself frozen in position on the couch, fatigue overpowering his will to move. Max managed to stay awake until about 7:30 at which point we all gave up and went to sleep (aren't we such EXCITING people?!?).

This morning, after eating breakfast in front of the morning news, everyone fell asleep again. Max is snoozing under the couch pillows and Barney is in another deep slumber on top of the couch. Even all three cats are sleeping.

I can't wait until all of my sleeping beauties finally wake up for the day so we can move on to more exciting things like unpacking, cleaning, going to our favorite pizza place!

Don't play with your food

Well, you learn something new every day! From the comments in the post below, I discovered that neither my husband, my dad, nor my father-in-law like pasta salad. Is this a guy thing?

But for all you ladies out there with sensible taste buds, you can find the recipe here. Make sure you add halved cherry tomatoes, though (you'll thank me later).

Guess who comes home tomorrow?? MY OTHER HALF!! Here's a recap of the past eight days (as reenacted by our salt and pepper shakers):

First, Max left for a state far, far away to go to some alleged "conference".

Which left me feeling sad and all alone. Also, with lots of pets.

But tomorrow, he will COME BACK!

And all will be right in the world again.

My week (in pictures)

Max has been gone all week (he'll be back Tuesday -- I'm counting down!!). Here's what I've been up to!

Supervising these two bozos:

Making food Max doesn't like but I do (how can someone not like pasta salad?!):

Reading this great book at the recommendation of a friend (if you liked "The Poisonwood Bible", you should like this too):

Watching movies I know that Max would be happy to miss:

And making new products for my Etsy store:

What have you been up to this week?

A cautionary tale

My husband is out of town for a little more than a week to go to a conference. Apparently, he couldn't handle driving 40+ hours across the country with no cruise control and no air, so he took MY car... leaving me with the car with no cruise control, no air, and MANUAL TRANSMISSION.

In preparation for his departure, he had been teaching me how to drive wtih a stick shift. I kinda have the hang of it, but it doesn't stop me from having a heart attack every time I need to use the car.

So last night when I decided I needed a gourmet sandwich with some gourmet ingredients, I thought to myself: "Why not avoid a panic attack and just walk the half mile to the store?"

It was a great idea! Except that it was 98 degrees outside and positively sweltering. When I finally made it to the store, I just about collapsed into a sweaty heap in the produce department.

When I recovered, I made my way to the deli counter and asked the nice 40-something lady behind the counter how much the prosciutto was. $12.99 a pound. Then she asked me how much I wanted.

"Three ounces", I said.

Meat Lady: "Okay, there's sixteen ounces in a pound, so.... that's about half a pound, right?"

Me: "..."

Me [once I picked my jaw up off the floor]: "Ummm. I think it's actually closer to less than a quarter pound"

The moral of the story?

Be cool, stay in school!

Oh, and Don't be a wuss, and just drive the car already!

Mowgli speaking

Dear Diary,

Today marks Day 5 of Doggy Domination. It all started when the humans brought in a second monster dog. Maybe forever? It's too soon to tell. New-dog is gigantic. Perhaps a horse? Will need to look it up. New-dog barks loudly. It makes my fur stand up on end. It's also thirsty all the time. It gulps water down its' gullet so noisily and so sloppily that a stream of liquid trails in its' wake.

Per my observations, three days ago boy-human left. Maybe forever. Girl-human is here all day. She only says "No", "Go outside", and "Play nice".

Old-dog and New-dog run and crash around my couch, my rug, my kitchen, and my hallway. There are only two places that are safe (note to self: look for more safe places): 1. under the guest bed in the nice hole I dug under the box spring, and 2. on top of the refrigerator.

Fool-cat goes anywhere she pleases, even in the middle of the dogs. She doesn't know she will get eaten. Good riddance to her, I say.

Nice-fluffy-cat slinks low to the ground from one place to another. She claims she has safe places, but they're not really. I tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen. Poor soul.

What New-dog doesn't know is that I have a secret weapon. I've been sharpening my claws to razor sharp daggers for years now in anticipation of just such an emergency. The humans try to clip them, but their efforts are always fruitless! So if New-dog manages to get anywhere close to me, I will scratch the snot out of his gullet.

Consider this a warning.

This post was written for Word Up, Yo! This week's word of the week was "gullet". If you'd like to play along, you link up at Mommy of a Monster, A Belle, a Bean, and a Chicago dog, and Taming Insanity. Have fun!

I won't forget you all when I'm rich and famous

When I was younger, maybe around middle school, I used to have a folder with an orange and white cat on it. Inside the folder, I kept sheets of notebook paper with character descriptions, story ideas, and half-written short stories.

The point is, I loved to write. I still do (hence the blog). For years now I've wanted to write a novel. It's even a part of my life list. Well last summer I thought of The Best Story Ever. And no, don't worry, that's not going to be the title! I haven't been able to work on it much (mostly because we moved to a new state, and I was going through the most stressful year of my career), but I've picked it up again this week.

Like the nerd that I am, I've been doing some research on how to go about writing a work of fiction. So far, I think my approach is going to be somewhere between this entertaining description of seat-of-your-pants writing, and this highly organized method called The Snowflake Method.

Tonight, I've even decided to go to our local "Writer's Connection" that meets at the Arts Center which is walking distance from our house. I have absolutely no idea what to expect. The flier from the library says: "Our main purpose is to encourage writers and help them improve their work through critiquing and sharing tips, ideas, and encouragement".

If nothing else, maybe they'll have brownies.

The Big Move

I'm already thinking about the upcoming school year. I really shouldn't... thinking about school in the summer is like picking a scab-- you want to but you really ought to leave it alone so it can heal properly (ie: rest up!).

I was shocked to learn that they are moving me from 4th/5th grade reading down to first grade reading next year! They are doing it to make the numbers more fair (and as the one who got stuck with 14 students last year when each of my colleagues had only six, I really do appreciate that!).

So I am leaving the land of hormones, "being cool", and accidentally witty remarks to the land of tears, dependence, and unconditional love.

I'm excited and terrified all at once!

If you have any tips, advice, or resources for me on how to be an effective teacher at this level, please send them my way! :)

Feline Friday

For the next ten days or so we'll be dog-sitting for Sawyer, a lab-mix puppy that belongs to my husband's classmate. They dropped him off today and things have been, how you say.... CHAOTIC. Barney is very glad to have a friend but they are both testing the waters, our boundaries, and our patience.

Our three cats may never forgive us for adding another monster to this household, however temporary. In honor of them, I thought I'd participate in Feline Friday, brought to us from The Thought Bubble.

This week's theme is "hepfulness", a trait all three of our cats have plenty of. Here is Mrs. Hufflepuff, who thought she would help me clean the windows by getting those pesky drapes out of the way:

I thanked her very profusely, of course, then promptly told her that her services were no longer needed. In fact, (after I took her picture) I told her quite forcefully to stop.

If you have a helpful cat, please share! You can join the fun and link up right here (you have until next Thursday).

Happy Feline Friday!

I got my book... do you have yours?

If you haven't seen this remake of "I gotta feeling" (Black Eyed Peas) sung by the administration and students of Ocoee Middle School, you are missing out! It will totally make you smile :) One of the teachers at my school showed this video to her fifth graders to pump them up for summer reading and they all loved it!



I've already started off my summer reading list with The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie. Any story where an eleven year-old girl tries to solve a murder is going to be a hit with me!

What are you reading these days?

Happy Feet

 If you had asked me back in November if June 4th would ever come, I would have told you: "No way! I will die in this school building, under-resourced, under-supported, and over-worked. June 4th is just a myth."

I'm not usually this pessimistic, but I think it had something to do with the fact that I moved to a new state this year, and started teaching inner-city kids with all sorts of challenges and neediness.

In the very beginning, it felt like working here was like breaking in a new pair of shoes.

Almost immediately, I realized that there was a pebble in my shoe that didn't belong there. (Things got easier in March when I was able to remove the pebble and find a better quarry for him!)

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like there were no scenic views on my journey this school year. My stinky fifth graders kept me laughing! Other highlights included explaining the word "diarrhea" and explaining "race" (Asian, Hispanic, etc).

Usually at the end of the school year, I am full of boundless excitement. Yesterday, as I was driving home after the students' last day (staff had to report today to clean out rooms, etc), I just wanted to have a good long cry -- some sort of cathartic release to acknowledge that this year is finally behind me.

And now.... I can't wait to put my feet up!! Maybe even indulge in a manicure!! Happy Summer Break, everyone :)

Drunk with power

As I was sitting behind my work computer finishing up IEPs and contemplating my ever-growing to-do list, I had an epiphany. At first I was just thinking: "I wish I could clone myself so I could get this all done faster and could leave before 5:30 today"

But then!

Then I remembered that I had twelve kids at my disposal who were ready to do my bidding at a moment's notice! So I worked my little army of elves to the bone today. I sat on my teacher stool, snapped my fingers, and gave orders left and right.

90 minutes worth of shredding? Done.
46 staples plied out of the wall? Done.
4 bulletin boards taken down with border neatly put away? Done.
8 desks cleaned out? Done.
12 piles of student work distributed to be sent home? Done, and done!

The servants kids were so excited to help, and I felt LOADS less stressed out. I even got to leave on time!!

Now if only I could bring them home and have them help me with my housework....


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

This is what happens when you're knee-deep in IEPs

Yesterday, I had to take an online training for work. It was about writing IEP goals/objectives and writing the PLAAFP statement (Present Levels of Academic Achievement and Functional Performance). It was super relevant and helpful a colossal waste of my time. Truthfully, it was a little insulting.... because if you didn't understand the content of the training, you wouldn't be a special education teacher. It was like a good reader being made to learn the ABCs all over again.

Anyways, it got me to thinking about writing goals. Using the format I have to use for IEPs, what goals would I write for myself at this point in my life (as in, this week)? Here's what I came up with:

By the end of two weeks, given the 2006 Saturn Ion, Sarah will learn to drive a car with a manual transmission without grinding the gears in 9 out of 10 trials.

Within four days, given the "Encore" online IEP system, Sarah will finish two more IEPs and close seven more with 100% accuracy.

Within four days, given twelve hyper-active children, Sarah will end the school year gracefully without losing her mind for 3 out of the 4 days.

OMG! Homophones!

I was going through a stack of student work this morning and almost fell off my chair laughing when I saw this:

This was an assignment to illustrate sets of homophones and write a sentence for each one under their respective flap. One of my dear students wrote and drew this masterpiece for the word "weight":


And just in case you missed it:


Did you see the hand to the face? Priceless!

I'd like to come up for air, please

In an ironic twist of fate, our principal has generously allowed all of the teaching staff to leave at 3:15 instead of at 3:45, which is normally the rule. I would normally be jumping up and down with excitement, but when I tried I tripped over the the piles of paperwork needing my attention. So no leaving early for this teacher.

I've been busily writing and holding IEP meetings for my fifth graders transitioning to middle school. I've held six already this week and it's only Wednesday. I'm also in the middle of doing end-of-the year running records on all of my students. And we're in the midst of award assemblies and field days to top it all off.

So these days, I work through lunch, cross items off of my Master To-Do List only to add more on to it, walk really fast everywhere, and generally run around like a chicken with her head cut off.

The fact that the rest of my deaf-ed colleagues already have their classrooms packed up and materials ready for next year makes me want to scream for the hills....

June 4th can't come fast enough! Is your end of the school year this busy?

We like to do things backwards

Since moving into our new house at the end of August last year, we've been slowly furnishing it so it looks the way we want it to. Last weekend, we broke down and went to Ikea to get one last thing I felt that the living room was missing: a bookshelf. We got a "great" deal (let's not kid ourselves: it's just some particle board and some screws) and I was so excited about it that Max was kind enough to tackle putting it together right away!

And then I had fun filling it with all of our little treasures:


On the top of the bookshelf is a clock that belonged to Max's grandfather (a gift from GM, in fact!). On the first two rows are my scrapbooks and journals, some hand drawn paintings of various European cities, a handmade pottery vase (a wedding gift from a college roommate), and some wedding pictures. On the bottom two rows are Max's various textbooks: religion, languages, and psychology. Oh, and can you spot the cat? She's probably wondering if that will be a safe place to hide from the dog...

Here's the view from the other side of the living room:

Now we just need to cover up all of this nice furniture so we can paint the walls!!

Shiny new toy

I was very excited to have won the Mini-Mountain from Zillio Games recently! It came in the mail a few days ago, and when I saw it in person and read through the gazillion math games you can play on it (from basic counting and sequencing to complicated multiplication and division), well... Max can probably tell you that I was jumping up and down.

I brought it to school immediately and set to playing it right away with my two fourth graders. (Because, let's be honest, it's not like I actually had anything else planned for them!). I don't know who was more excited about our new game: me or the kiddos. Here are a few pictures of us playing three different games with it:

The games are simple, but it can be difficult to explain game rules to students with language impairments!

The foam numbers go up the steps by multiples of 1 through 12

I couldn't keep his hands off the mountain -- he LOVED playing with it!

In my five years of teaching, I've never come across such a versatile game. This is perfect for any resource room teacher out there who works with multiple grade levels or general educators who have the opportunity to work with small groups of children. It's also perfect for homeschooling parents as the games you play on it can grow with your child's skill!!

(And if you're wondering, I was NOT paid to write this post! I'm just totally in love with my new toy! Thanks, Zillio!!!)

I LOVE it when education can be fun!

Now where's my genie?

I wish...

• that a certain math teacher hadn't interrupted my student SIX different times as he was retaking his standardized state test! (She just stood a few inches in front of him and watched him bubble in answers. Yeah.... not helpful!)
• that tomorrow was the last day of school
• that my classroom would de-clutter and organize itself
• that eating vats of ice cream had no consequences
• that I could speak Spanish and wouldn't need a translator to talk to a parent
• that we lived closer to family and I could go to my nephew's first birthday party this weekend
• that my seven IEPs would write themselves
  
• that there was a Michaels or Joann's nearby -- I have to drive so far to get supplies for my store!

The good news is that this weekend is a three day weekend for me!

What are you wishing for today?

I should really start closing the door when I teach

I was teaching similes and metaphors to my fifth graders this morning. It was a rather difficult concept for them to grasp because of vocabulary and overall language issues. But I tried my darndest. I had a wonderful PowerPoint presentation complete with response cards that the students held up to identify which sentence was a simile, and which was a metaphor.

I was feeling pretty proud of myself and my kick-butt lesson.

And then we got to the end. The last slide said to get with a partner and come up with as many metaphors and similes about chocolate as they could. When the timer beeped, I checked their papers and it was pretty disastrous.

Exhibit A: "The chocolate is melty as a cow"

Exhibit B: "The chocolate is so good I like it and I also like chips and cookies and pizza and hamburgers...."

You see what I was dealing with here. I overestimated their readiness for this kind of activity.

So I quickly backtracked and explained in detail how to create a similes and metaphors. First, we made a list that described chocolate. We came up with: yummy, hard, brown, smooth, melty. Then we took the words one by one and thought of something else that was also smooth (for example) that we could compare it to. Then we made a simile: "This chocolate is as smooth as a feather".

Then we got to "brown".

"Okay", I told my kiddos, "think of something brown". All of my students looked around the room. Then I said: "Okay, now let's fill in the blank: 'This chocolate is as brown as....."

Silence.

Then my whitest kid turns to my blackest kid and (very innocently and triumphantly) points at him and says "YOU!"

Birthday Boy

Yesterday was Max's birthday. That's him, pretending to pick his nose...

Anyway, I took the afternoon off and we went to see Iron Man 2. Then we came home, had pizza, and ate Phish Food, which is Max's new favorite Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor.

It was so fun, gallivanting around town yesterday afternoon, it really made me long for summer!!
Are we there yet?

Barking up the RIGHT tree

I've been throwing a tantrum for the last two hours or so. It's subtle, because I'm at school and I've got to keep it professional. But that doesn't mean I can't slam the paper tray on the printer or type really hard or stomp up the stairs. (I may be exaggerating slightly. Maybe.)

 

Why so angry, Sarah? Well, when the principal disagrees with a decision that I have recommended (a decision that the parent is in full agreement with me about), it gets me a little ticked. Furthermore, when the principal is motivated by test scores and "looking good" and not thinking about the child's best interest down the road? That's just not right. Oh, and for the principal to argue her point with me in the meeting when the parent is present? That's just unprofessional. And checking the box in the legal paperwork on the IEP that says "disagree" and promising to write up a professional report to go along with her disagreement? Childish!

 

I take some comfort in the fact that I had the full support of the special education diagnostician (my principal's superior!) during the meeting. When I talked to him afterwards, he said he was "going to have a little chat with the principal" later. It also makes me relieved that my direct boss (my deaf education administrator) was in full support of my recommendation.

 

So despite having Important People on my side, and despite knowing in my heart that I'm doing what's best for my student, the whole situation still ticks me off. I took a stand for what I knew was right, and now I'm going to be in the doghouse for it.

 

Here's to hoping my day only gets better from here on out.

A letter from a student

(For Teacher Appreciation Week -- written by a fifth grader moving on to another campus next year)

 

Mrs. B,

 

Thank you for being a Greatest teacher ever in my life. You always make me laugh when you do something wrong. Me and Deaf aid will miss you so much.

 

From,

"Jennifer"

Stomaching stomach

When Cinco de Mayo falls during Teacher Appreciation Week, good things happen. Especially when your school population is 80% Hispanic and several moms are willing to throw the teachers a giant, homemade fiesta!!

I walked into the lounge today and was met with a delicious spread of tacos, enchiladas, tamales, queso, and three kinds of homemade salsa: hot, hotter, and set-your-mouth-on-fire.

I took samples of quite a few things, and after I had finished what was on my plate, I contemplated going back for more. I was sitting across from Ms. M (who also happens to be Hispanic) who seemed to be enjoying a cup of soup of some sort. When I asked her what it was, she said it was called "menudo" and that it was delicious.

So I went and got some.

It looked more like a stew than a soup. I ate quite a few bites since it was tasty, but after a while, the consistency of the unidentifiable meat started to bother me so I discreetly threw the rest of it away.

Ten minutes later, when I was back in my portable chatting with three other staff members, I asked my aide (also Hispanic) if she had tried the "menudo".

"The menudo? Do you know what's in that?" she looked at me skeptically.

"Um. No....."

"It's cow's stomach!" She couldn't stop giggling.

Another staff member shook my hand and congratulated me on my "bravery" ("I've never known a white person to go near the stuff!" she claimed).

My aide made me an honorary "brown person" (and she's allowed to say stuff like that because she's Hispanic...)

Then the speech pathologist made me this badge, which I wore with pride for the rest of the day:


Note to self: bring a Spanish-English dictionary to the next Cinco de Mayo potluck!

Let's just pretend these calories don't count

It's Teacher Appreciation Week!! I love that it falls right after my birthday.

I've taught at three schools in three states, and a common theme for this special week is Food in the Lounge. Nothing makes teachers happier (well, except summer break!). Do you have leftover junk food that you need to get rid of? Drop it off at your nearest elementary school. We will swarm your goodies like vultures until every last crumb is gone.

Another special treat given to us by the administration is permission to wear jeans. I get to wear jeans to work every single day this week (for free) and it is AWESOME. Having a job where you have to dress professionally makes you wish you could just be comfortable.

Now. Between the massive ice cream binges I indulged in over the weekend, and the goodies in the lounge, I'm hoping I don't gain ten pounds for my ten year high school reunion this summer!

Boasting and bawling

On Friday, I had to break the test results to my fifth graders. You know, the state standardized reading and math tests? The tests that are so important that every single staff meeting has been about them? The tests that are so important we forced struggling students to stay after school for two hours of tutoring on Tuesdays, Thursdays... and SATURDAYS?

Yes, those test results.

As it's kind of a big deal, I made sure to let the whole class know that:

1. I was proud of them for the amount of effort they put into to taking those tests (and how hard you try is ultimately more important in life than if you pass any one test)

2. They were not under any circumstances allowed to discuss with their classmates whether they passed or failed. [The last thing I want to deal with is boasting and bawling]

So then I broke it to them in a different room, one by one. The kids who passed were gleeful! Most passed at least one of the tests. I had one student who failed both the reading and the math. When I told him, he cried big crocodile tears.

I let the two students who failed the reading test know that I was going to be working with them for the next two weeks (until the state standardized retests) to give them a better chance of passing. We'll be working just the three of us for two hours after lunch (throwing off the rest of my schedule, but whatever, I'm just following orders).

The counselor pulled aside one of my boys to chat about the test results a little later in the day. She was kind enough to relay this conversation to me:

Counselor: "How do you feel about passing the math test?"

Student: "I feel so great. It's like I'm in a new magical place!!"

Counselor: "How do you feel about failing the reading test? I know you tried so hard and even stayed late after school to finish it"

Student: "[sigh] I'm really sad about it. But I'm happy to be working with Mrs. B. I know I will learn a lot from her."

When the counselor relayed this conversation to me (especially that last part), I wondered briefly how appropriate it would be to frame that quote and hang it behind my desk. Or get it embroidered on a pillow. Or printed on a t-shirt.

The most heartwarming type of praise is usually spoken from our students, isn't it?

The big 2-8

It's my birthday! This means that I'm another year older (thanks for the old lady jokes, Max!), but more importantly, it's a wonderful excuse to PIG OUT on all the food that makes me happy. Namely, ice cream.

On Friday, I celebrated with my colleagues by going to a frozen yogurt place where I gorged myself on 13 ounces of ice cream (and I was this close to going back for seconds!). Yesterday we went to this local place that milks their own cows for their ice cream. I had two scoops of mint chip and rocky road, and it was delicious! And who knows what today will bring? I've already opened such kind cards from family members (thank you!!). And I envision swimming in a vat of ice cream at some point before this day is done. Don't judge me. Eating ice cream is what distracts me from the ever-growing amount of gray hair on my head.

And... an ANNOUNCEMENT! I've opened up my very own Etsy shop (if you're not familiar with Etsy, it's like the amazon.com of handmade goods) in an attempt to sell my handmade cards. It might be a total flop, or I might become a millionaire. Either way, it's been FUN so far!

Here's the link: http://yesteacher.etsy.com

There's not a whole lot in the store just yet... I'll be adding new cards in the next few days. And don't you love the banner at the top of the store? My brother made that (he's crazy talented).

So today, I'm also celebrating the birth of my business (my tiny, microscopic, miniature business)!

Fifth grade humor (cracks me up too)

My fifth graders earned game time for twenty minutes this afternoon. They were playing "What's Gnu?", a game where the person to make a three letter word the fastest wins. I love watching them play because they don't always know what is a word and what isn't (vocabulary acquisition is something we work on continually!).

Our speech-language pathologist (Mrs. T) happened to be in my room today, helping out wherever needed. She's sitting at the game table while I'm working at my desk.

Suddenly, I hear someone shout "WOO! Woo's a word!!". Mrs. T said: "Is it really a word? Use it in a sentence"

Boy 1: "WOO, you know, like when you say 'WOO' at a football game!"

Boy 2: "Yeah, or you say 'WOO that stinks, flush the toilet'

Mrs. T: ".... I stand corrected"

Featuring...

I've been featured at the latest Carnival of Educators! There are lots of other great posts by some great teachers.

Go check it out!

Pee happens

I was talking with a friend of mine over the weekend who admitted to drinking at least one can of soda each day at work (she's an accountant). "The only problem," she said, "is that I have to get up and pee a lot"

To which I replied: "Hey at least you have the luxury of peeing whenever you want to!"

You know, because I'm a teacher. And we have to wait until recess or our planning period or lunch to go pee.

I have this vision of what it's like to not be a teacher: you get expense accounts, an hour or two for lunch, and you can leave your office whenever you feel like peeing. No holding it!!

Then yesterday happened.

Yesterday was the state standardized test for our fourth graders. The rules for administering the test are taken very seriously. Like you have to go to special meetings, sign papers, vow not to do ANYTHING except stand there and monitor the students. Anyways, there were many special education students (including mine) testing out in the portable (there are five or six classrooms in ours). There are extra staff available in the hall to escort children who need to use the bathroom to and from the main building. They are also available to stand in for us should any of us teachers need to use the bathroom.

I've gone through this testing stuff before with my fifth graders at the beginning of the month. But this time was different. One of the staff, upon returning from the staff bathroom (which is located in the nurse's office) reported in hushed whispers that the nurse was MAKING TALLY MARKS for each time you left your room to use the bathroom.

TALLY MARKS. I'm assuming that this sheet of paper will get handed to the principal (who undoubtedly asked for it in the first place). And what will the principal do with it? Will she write us up for insufficient bladder control? Do we have a pee-pee quota I'm not aware of? Will she confiscate the pop in the vending machines? Will she make teachers start using a hall pass?

I think I'm going to be sick. But wait, that would mean running to the bathroom, which apparently is no longer allowed...