Meanwhile, My Feet Hurt

I've been slacking with my blog lately because I've just been having too much fun doing absolutely nothing! It's been great spending time with family for Christmas and New Year's....

I can't decide if I'm looking forward to going back to school next Monday, or if I'm dreading it. I have had a lot of time to reflect on this new position/role for me, and I've decided that it's lonely. I mean, sure, everyone has been nice at my new school, and I'm able to have short conversations here and there (mostly in the lounge), but I'm not working with an aide anymore. When I was teaching children who are deaf/hard-of-hearing back in California, I worked very closely with a classroom aide. Not only was she my right-hand-woman, but she was excellent company as well. But now I work solo. If the kids inadvertently say something funny, there is no adult eye to catch for a secret chuckle. There is nobody who knows all the ins and outs of my classroom who can give me feedback. There is nobody to spontaneously brainstorm with. There is nobody... except me.

Now before you all start to feel sorry for me, let me say that I could go walk down the hall and talk to my partner in crime who is the other resource room teacher (this is her first year of teaching). But this is just too inconvenient, unless it's lunchtime.

There are definitely lots of people who come see me in my little room/classroom/office everyday, but these people come because they have Problems. And part of my job is to "supervise" the special education aides, and help fix the problems, so this is okay.

I guess the point of this whole, long, wordy post is that, for the last two years, everyone came to talk to me to make sure that I was okay, to ask how I was doing, to know if I needed any help. You know, because I was the New Teacher. Now, in my third year, I'm suddenly in the position where I'm expected to give the support, to listen instead of talk, to encourage rather than be encouraged, to run the meetings instead of just participate.

It's like a new pair of shoes that I'm still trying to break in.

3 comments:

roller coaster teacher said...

I think I understand. My current teaching partner D is an inclusion teacher. A few years ago, D taught a self-contained class of about 6 students (with a few aides) - she switched out of self-contained to teach inclusion b/c she felt isolated from the rest of the faculty and student body.

I love working/interacting with some of my coworkers as much as I love working/interacting with students.

Anonymous said...

Maybe your shoes should be FLIP-FLOPS! This position may be just for now...and your previous position may again be your future one!! Mom

Anonymous said...

Just don't get "athlete's foot" while trying to break in those new shoes.

Dad

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