Confessions

No tomorrow

Yesterday (Thursday) was the last day of school for the kids. (The teachers will be back today to clean out our rooms and such).

It was Picnic Day, which is really like Field Day but with less supervision. The kids were running around outside, eating their hot dogs, dripping their popsicles, and riding ponies. YES! I'm not even kidding: I looked up at one point and the older sibling of one of our children had brought in two ponies for the kids to ride. A happy chaos ensued.

It was getting to be in the high nineties after lunch so we brought them in for a movie. It ended just as it was time to line up for the bus (for the final time - yay!).

I stood at the head of the line, and one of my first graders asked me, looking pensive, who was going to be the leader tomorrow. No doubt he was hoping that it was his turn to be at the head of the line next.

I smiled. "Nobody! School is over for the year -- there is no tomorrow!"

I can't tell if he looked disappointed or happy!

time is on my side

You know when you ask your class a question and a bunch of little hands shoot up in the air, all eager to share their answer? You know when you call on one of them, and the kiddo just sits there and ummmms and aahhhhs, and finally says "I forgot" rather sheepishly?

Well that's what happened to my little blog recently. "I forgot."

Actually, it was more of a too-tired-after-field-day, got-sick-over-Memorial-Day, just-started-reading-a-good-book kinda thing.

And I'm checking in only to say that time feels like it's moving like this:

source

With three days of school left, the work is piled high (that detailed end-of-year checklist!), the kids are driving me CUH-RAZY, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to focus on anything longer than 2.3 seconds.

But summer break? Thinking about that can hold my attention for slightly longer than 2.3 seconds....

at least i can squirt some kids

Is it just me, or does time move more slowly nearing the last day of school? We've been "busy" with extra long recesses, awards ceremonies, career day, and cleaning out classrooms.

Technically the last day of school is next Thursday, but full-on babysitting mode has already begun! Tomorrow is our campus wide Field Day. Field Day is basically a few hundred kids running around in the sweltering heat while the teachers "supervise" their stations. The upside? We get to carry around squirt guns and spray the kids!!

Here's a picture of me during last year's Field Day. It was 98 degrees out there:

Tomorrow it's *only* supposed to be 95 and sunny. If you don't hear from me this weekend, it's because I've MELTED!

field trip massacre

We took 41 first graders to the nature center on Friday. We spent the morning talking about habitats and food chains and protecting the environment. We did plenty of hands-on activities and got to see some pretty cool creatures.

And then? The field trip massacre.

It was right after lunch, and we were lined up outside to start our thirty minute guided hike. One of my deaf education kiddos, "Sherry" was at the the front of the line with some other girls. I suddenly heard a commotion and I turned around to someone crying "IT'S A BUG!!!"

Without a second's thought, Sherry brought her foot up as high as she could, and with all of her seven-year-old might, she slammed it down on top of the small beetle.

I gasped. Our tour guide gasped. Hadn't we been talking about protecting the environment and the creatures who live here?

"OH NO!" I said to Sherry. I didn't want to make her feel too bad (it's instinct after all, isn't it?), but I did give her a short lecture.

Our tour guide addressed the other 40 first graders and explained how we would be walking around any bugs that came across our path instead of on top of them.

She came back to Sherry and glanced down at the offending bug.

"I guess you should put it out of its' misery and finish him off...."

Friday Confessional

I confess...

That in the last two weeks I've spent more time on the internet than lesson planning during my designated lesson planning time.

I confess...

That I truly felt appreciative of our principal on Bosses' Day! This is a foreign feeling.

I confess...

That I've been taking Max's cooking for granted! I need to cook more. Can't wait until we're done remodeling/redecorating our kitchen!

Sneak Peek: More pictures to follow!

I confess...

That $53.70 is the most I've ever spent on a pair of shoes. I bought a pair online yesterday (but that's a whole 'nother blog post!)

I confess...

That I'm kinda glad we're staying put for most of the summer. Gives me lots of time to craft!

I confess...

That I'm DREADING going in to school today. Taking 21 first graders to a local nature center in the pouring rain is not my idea of fun!

I confess...

That this is the FIRST meme I've ever done in five years of blogging! Click on the button to link up your Friday confessional!

A teacher's perspective, in graph form

For all of you non-teachers out there, I've created a visual representation of the year. Pay particular attention to the month of May if you want to know how things are going these days!

Here's what's going on with the kids:

Here's what's going on with the teachers:

Getting there faster

If you've ever walked a line of young children down the hall towards the doors that lead to a playground, then this post is going to make perfect sense to you.

It starts off well. You've ~~barked at~~ reminded the children to use their hallway manners and your line is looking pretty decent. Hands behind the back. Mouths closed (for the most part). Low speed.

Halfway down the hall and suddenly 24 pairs of arms are at their sides and the pace has quickened. Children are also talking to each other.

As you get nearer and nearer to the doors that lead outside, suddenly the children start hurrying, actually sprinting, towards freedom. The boys take the three steps that lead down to the doors all in one leap. They start whooping and hollering at the top of their lungs just as they come upon the threshold.

They know that the quicker they hurry, the faster they're going to be outside.

Friends. If only Time worked like that too. I would be teaching in speedy-mode, rushing to get to the end of the school year. I would be running to and fro. I would be typing my lesson plans at 100 wpm. I would be talking a mile a minute.

But there's nothing I can do except to make the most of the 13 days of school we have left!

the classroom discussions i live for

I was with my deaf ed bunch one afternoon, and we were reading a Big Book called "I Swam with a Seal". In the book, a little girl goes to play with various animals and the animals wonder why she doesn't look like them.

Let me try to recreate a particularly interesting page that started an incident that had me laughing all the way home. (Note: blah blah blah = I don't remember the words)

"I bothered a beaver,

who was building a dam,

blah blah blah,

and away he swam.

Where is your strong tail,

you funny beaver?"

I know what you're all thinking: "Uh oh, some kid noticed the "dam" in the sentence and misunderstood!" Nope! Here's what happened:

I finished reading the page, and my second grader stops the class and says "Wait, wait, wait". He is looking pretty confused. Then he asked: "Beaver have tail?"

At least, that's what I thought he said, so I said: "Yes, beavers have tails!" I even pointed at the picture for emphasis.

He looked alarmed, and then said: "What? Justin Bieber have a TAIL?!?"

And then I giggled. A lot. Because "Beiber" and "beaver" sound very similar. So I wrote some things down on the board and drew some stick figures just to make sure that he didn't go home thinking his favorite superstar had a tail!

Teacher Appreciation Week

Last week was Teacher Appreciation Week and my school had a theme for it (because we like to go overboard like that): "We're WILD about our teachers!"

Monday we had to wear our zebra prints (and when hardly anyone did because who has zebra prints in their wardrobe, the principal had a good talking to with everyone.)

Tuesday we wore leopard prints. Yes, I had to go out and buy a special shirt for that one!

Wednesday was "bear your feet" day and we all got to wear flip flops (YESSSSS!)

Thursday was "Monkey see- Monkey Do" (twin day)

Friday was "wild mane day" (crazy hair)

I had a bit of fun on Friday, and this is what I looked like.

The kids kept raising their hands to tell me I had pink in my hair!

Anyways, breakfast was provided for us on the first two days and lunch was provided for the next three. The benefits of working in a mostly Hispanic school? When the parents get together to cook for you, it's better than ANYTHING you'll ever eat at a Mexican restaurant!

Teacher Appreciation Week was very yummy, but not so good for my waistline....

I hope all you teachers out there got spoiled, too!!

a mother's day story I wish was fictional

When I announced to my small group of first and second graders that we were going to make chocolate covered pretzels for a Mother's Day gift on Friday, "Thomas" had a strange reaction. His usually smiling face fell into a dark scowl.

"I. Don't. Want to." he declared.

I was almost surprised until I remembered his family situation. Thomas was adopted from a land far away into a very rich couple's home. Yes, they knew he was deaf. But the rumor is, the couple wanted to save their marriage and an adopted kid seemed like just the thing.

A few years went by and the marriage dissolved anyway. Now little Thomas is raised by an aging grandfather and an elderly nanny that mom hired so she can live at her workplace.

From what I've observed, the mother treats him like he should be behaving like a forty year old man: grown up and mature already instead of the seven year old child that he is. It's hard to watch.

His nanny (who's been with him for most of his life) is the one who brings him to school, who drives over his lunch or his homework when he forgets it, and who communicates to his teachers.

So back to Friday. Not even after several encouraging prompts could I get Thomas to make a gift for his mother. It was only once I promised him that he could make two gifts - one for his mother, one for his nanny - that he changed his mind and decided to participate.

It broke my heart right down the middle.

Mom? Thank you SO much for not only doing the job yourself, but for having done such a terrific job to boot! I love you: you're the best!!

family planning according to a 3rd grader

I was chatting with one of my third grade students in the deaf ed program. She asked me: "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No," I said, "I have a husband! I'm married!"

"Oh. Do you have kids?"

"No," I answered, "No kids yet!"

"Ohhhhh," she said in a knowing way, "wait until you're taller!"

Calendar place value

I meant to share this about a hundred school days ago but better late than never! This is what we do in first grade to count days we've been in school.

I like this method in particular because you can show the separation of the ones, and then create a group of ten with a chain. Very visual!

Of course, I have a different kind of school day tracker on my desk (21 more days to go!!!!!!!!!!)

Birthday Weekend

I turn 29 today!! Or as I like to say: "I'm turning 29 for the first time!" (HA!)

I had a wonderful birthday weekend! Camping fell through, but Plan B was pretty amazing! Max and I enjoyed eating out for breakfast, then we headed to the zoo! Here are some highlights:

This is my favorite shot of the day (if you look closely, it looks like a reptile is on my head!):

After the zoo, we headed to a frozen yogurt bar. I had a big cup of root beer frozen yogurt with white yogurt chips. Birthdays are delicious!

Plan B

We were going to camping this weekend for my birthday, but plans fell through because Mother Nature forgot the world revolves around me today. Stormy and windy weather everywhere within a reasonable driving distance!

I've only been "camping" once. I have to use quotation marks here because we didn't sleep in a tent, we slept in the back of a Saturn Vue as we drove from Michigan to California (we stopped at TEN National Parks along the way!!)

Taken in 2005 at Zion National Park - I look so young here!

It was fun, but I was looking forward to go camping for reals in a tent and everything!

So plan B is going out for breakfast (I LOVE eating breakfast out, don't you?) and then visiting the local zoo. I'm excited!! I hope to have some pictures for you soon!

brought to you by charlie sheen

Here are a few glimpses of Monday's pep rally. This was hanging in the auditorium.

"To exemplary and beyond" is our school motto this year. "Failure is not an option" is also written on the back of our special TAKS t-shirts and is oddly reminiscent of Charlie Sheen's Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option tour. Hmmmm.

Also? Failure is always an option!! That's real life folks. We have to wear our special TAKS shirts for three days this week and it pains me to be walking around with a lie written across my back. So I've taken to wearing a sweater.

We enjoyed several performances as well: such (rewritten) classics as "I Will Survive" (performed by teachers in 70's disco attire), and "Baby got back" with motivational lyrics.

The kids loved it all! Now all we need to do is get through the actual testing, then we can all breathe a little easier...

because no one needs to see me dance

As I write this, a local principal is addressing the local media to give last minute TAKS test-taking strategies to any kids watching, and reassuring parents that the teachers have done their best to prepare the students for the test.

Yes. The madness is upon us.

For those of you who are blissfully unaware of how Texas does state testing, TAKS is for grades 3-5 (at the elementary level - they take it again in middle school and high school) and comes around every April.

Texas is different from the two other states I've taught in because they've decided that they're going to label schools based on TAKS performance. That way, the whole community will know if a certain elementary school is unacceptable, acceptable, recognized, or commended.

As you can imagine, this causes a very unhealthy level of pressure from any Texas principal. The atmosphere in our school these last two months has been steadily approaching outright hysteria:

Countdown to the TAKS test on every white board.
Two hours of after school tutoring every Tuesday and Thursday. (Since October!)
Semi-mandatory Saturday school for under performing students. (Since January!)

Since the TAKS test starts tomorrow, the school has organized a pep rally today. The lower grades will perform cheers for the upper grades. The teachers are going to do motivational raps.

Somehow, I got out of doing any performing today. If anyone from the administration questions my loyalty to this school or to our 3rd-5th graders, I'm going to whip out my heavy duty camera and proclaim myself the official photographer of all this hoopla.

Cure for summer fever

Let's face it: with just a smidge over six weeks until summer vacation, the kids (and staff) have Summer Fever.

It hit early this year. That could be because of the super nice weather, or the early onslaught of testing, or simply because we're all tired. But whatever the reason, it's here in full force.

For all of you non-teachers out there, here's what I mean by Summer Fever:

*The kids have gotten exponentially wigglier, so the whole classroom almost seems to vibrate with energy, buzz, and movement.

*The kids who used to be best of friends are at each other's throats. Think siblings who have been stuck in the back of a car for too long.

*The giant vat of patience that the teachers started with at the beginning of the year is now empty.

*More people stare out the windows.

*Countdowns are on every white board in the school, with staff giving each other regular updates for encouragement.

*Homework packets are getting thinner.

*The kids have completely forgotten all the rules and procedures we've been following since the beginning of the year.

There is no known cure for Summer Fever. We are still waiting for someone to develop a remote control for life. Until that time, here's what we've done to try to counteract the symptoms:

*Add an extra 20 minute recess every day.

*Bribe the kids for good behavior.

*Threaten to take away Field Day for bad behavior.

*Drink exponentially more caffeine.

*Leave the school building as soon as is humanly possible at the end of each day.

*Cling to our routines like the mast of a sinking ship.

WISH US LUCK!

Testing my patience

"Attention: The last seven weeks of school are officially canceled due to lack of interest."

This is what I would like to say if I could get my hands on the P.A system. It's true for the kids (I've noticed an exponential increase in wiggly-ness lately) and for the teachers.

Don't get me wrong, I still like teaching. But for the next seven weeks all we'll be doing is testing.

First, there's TPRI reading inventory. This takes 10 to 15 minutes per child. Then there's M-Class math, which takes 20 minutes per child. Then there's DRA (another reading test) which takes about 30 minutes per child.

All of these tests must be administered individually. So I go through the test (times 24) until I can recite it in my sleep, until I feel and sound like a robot.

Once that round of testing is over, we've got the ITBS (Iowa Test of Basic Skills), which is a real doozy.

If someone could just give me the remote control, I'll do us all a favor and fast forward to June 3rd.

no laughing matter

It was the end of a particularly bad day for Tammy. She had been defiant, she had been out of her seat more than not, and she stuck out her tongue at her classroom teacher.

At the end of the day, she asked me if she was going to get a sticker ("ticker?"). I sat down with her at my teacher table while my other students were reading quietly. I pulled out her behavior chart just as one of my colleagues showed up at the door. He stood in the doorway and watched us for a minute.

I counted the smiley faces for "I will follow directions". Two.
I counted the sad faces for following directions. Eight.

"Oh no, Tammy!" And as I started to debrief with her, I noticed my colleague at the door is laughing quietly. "You have more sad faces today! You did not follow directions. You did not stay in your chair. You stuck your tongue out at the teacher! No sticker for you today. Let's try again tomorrow."

Out of the corner of my eye, one of my other students was mouthing to my colleague at the door: "Stop laughing! It's not funny!" Her serious scolding made him laugh even harder, so he left our doorway.

I'm so glad the rest of my kids think bad behavior is no laughing matter!!

Father knows best

There's a first grader I work with in the general education setting. Let's call him "Doug". He is highly distractable and often impulsive. On Thursday, though, he decided to add shouting and outright defiance to the mix.

It wasn't long before his behavior chart went from green, to yellow, to orange, to blue, to the dreaded RED.

My mild-mannered co-teacher got out her red pen and wrote his father a note with exclamation points! Serious trouble indeed.

On Friday, we got a note back from dad that simply said: "He's just being a kid." [Hold on a minute while I catch my breath in the face of such overwhelming parent support....]

In addition, he sent a strip of paper to school with Doug. It had two words written in green marker:

LISTEN

BEHAVE

He told Doug to put the paper inside his desk, that way it would help remind him to have good behavior.

OOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!! YOU MEAN THAT'S ALL WE HAD TO DO? A SLIP OF PAPER IS ALL HE NEEDS TO CURE HIS BEHAVIOR?!?! WHY DIDN'T WE THINK OF THAT?

My co-teacher and I looked at each other and wondered whether we should laugh or cry.....

hello, my name is

I've been called a few different things in my six years of teaching.

Mom.

Teacher.

Mommy.

Mrs. other-teacher's-name.

Grandma.

But this week, "Paula" gave me a new label. Paula is a cute little first grader who tries her darndest but has the attention of a gnat. She likes to go on long rambling tangents in a very loud, rather high pitched voice and her speech is often difficult to understand. She cracks me up (often not on purpose....)

Anyways, she asked for some scissors for some activity we were doing. So I passed her the scissors.

She turned to me and said (in speech as clear as a bell, and with a little attitude too):

"Thank you, baby"

I froze. She was still smiling at me with her head cocked to the side, the picture of innocence. I'm sure her parents and her grandparents call her "Baby" all the time, but....

I had to have a little talk with her about appropriate and inappropriate things to call a teacher.

Then my colleagues and I had a good laugh!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

and... cue all the teachers drooling

Wait a minute, hold the phones! A new classroom product has hit the shelves, and I neeeeeed it!

Behold: Crayola Dry Erase Crayons! Yes, CRAYONS!

The coolest part about them is that you actually need a cloth or a board eraser to wipe them off. So if you have annoying students that like to erase parts of words with their fingers as they walk by your white board, worry no more!

I would love to have a set for centers - how fun would it be to practice spelling words with these!! Please tell me I'm not the only one who drools over cool classroom stuff....

Spring Break Recap

Back in March, we went here for our Spring Break:

It sure can be pretty, but we don't miss the long Michigan winters!

We went out to eat!

(My nephew's game with the salt and "peppa" shakers was adorable!)

We went bowling!

(And now I understand where Max gets that lovely habit of jumping into pictures from!)

And we scared the right eye off of my Flat Stanley with this Jungle Boa!

And now, only nine more weeks till Summer Vacation!! :)

Where teacher gifts go to die

Somewhere out in the universe, I can picture a large warehouse. In this warehouse, there's a thick layer of yellow dandelions carpeting the floor. There are shelves that reach to the ceiling filled with dollar-store-chocolate, kitschy stuffed animals, teacher mugs, miniature snow globes, and cheap picture frames.

Yes, my friends. I'm talking about the Land of Teacher Gifts.

The other day, I was supervising the first graders as we took our bathroom break. "Trent" came out of the bathroom stalls holding a yellow dandelion for me. Seeing as how he didn't enter the bathroom with that "flower', and we hadn't gone outside for recess, I was a little hesitant to accept his spontaneous gift.

I said: "Ummm, that's okay, you hold on to it for a while, I don't have anywhere to put it at the moment."

Three hours later, at the end of the day, Trent presents me with the same yellow flower (albeit a little more smooshed and droopy). He was so proud and had this beaming grin, so I really had to take it.

And later, when all the children had left the premises, I placed his kind gift in the trash can. I'd like to to think that I sent it off to a better place. The Land of Teacher Gifts.

inspiration

I was recently going through some old photos of my years teaching in California. Right after Open House at end of the year, the teachers would get to walk through each other's rooms, ooh-ing and ahh-ing over fun and clever displays.

I took my camera through those walks, in case I wanted to use any of these ideas later. (Hey, it's all in the name of collaboration, right?)

I thought I'd share them with you, just in case you were scrambling to find project ideas for your walls!

Don't you just love all the cutesy fun stuff of being a teacher?!?

new kid on the block

It's been a rough first week back from Spring Break. It was the usual "Oh-no-there's-eleven-more-weeks-to-go" slump, plus I got a new student.

Remember when I kept saying what an easy and great year it's been for me? Well, apparently I should have been knocking on more wood.

The new girl, "Tammy" has thrown quite a wrench into things. She's a nine year old second grader who came to our program because she's too high functioning for the multi-handicapped unit where she'd been placed this year. The problem is that she's too low functioning for our program.

Tammy is a darling little girl with the most charming smile, but here are the issues I've been dealing with:

*Sometimes, she can only understand if you sign to her. This is an oral program and my knowledge of sign is limited.

*If I ask her a question, 90% of the time she'll answer me in "Spanish". I have to use quotation marks here because our Spanish-speaking aide can't understand her.

*She's a wanderer. One second she's at her seat, and the next she's going through my desk drawers.

*She's bossy and likes to tell the other kids what to do (Ha! Just like me!)

*She can only count to 14, and she knows 22 out of 26 letters of the alphabet. She can't write her letters yet.

So it seems that I have my work cut out for me! The sad truth is that our district is NOT providing her with an appropriate eduction: she would be very successful in a self-contained hearing impaired classroom (we're a mainstream program that pulls out for Language Arts). The problem is that the district doesn't provide that kind of program. They know they need it. There's just no money.

I wish I could tell mom to sue.

I really hate it when the educational system lets our kids down...

school-topia

There would only be ten kids in each classroom, K-5.

The basal reading series would be an optional resource.

The copier would never run out of toner or paper, nor would it jam.

The library would be overflowing with quality books.

Each classroom would have gobs of storage space filled with tons of Lakeshore materials (that you didn't have to buy yourself!)

The administration would leave you completely alone.

The teachers would decide which district and/or state tests to administer, and when.

The kids would get at least two recesses every day, K-5.

The classrooms would be JUMBO sized.

There would be a computer for each child.

All the school computers would always work, and never break down.

There would be an aide for every teacher.

There would be goodies in the teacher's lounge every day!

Whaddaya think? Did I miss any? Would you work at this school? I think most of us would be happy if just the first one could happen!

see what I missed by not having an older brother

This morning, The first graders were sharing what they did over Spring Break. They stood up one by one in front of their friends and told their favorite part. There were lots of stories about going to the zoo, the science museum, and the amusement park.

One boy stood up and said that he and his family drove to Mexico to visit his grandparents. He was beaming and obviously very proud. I didn't think much of it until I ran into his older brother (who's in fifth grade).

"Hey 'Jim', how was Mexico?" I asked him.

"Mexico? I didn't go to Mexico."

"But your little brother said you all went down there to visit your grandparents!"

"No we drove to Houston to visit them. I just told him for fun that we were driving to Mexico."

I guess what are older brothers for, if not to prey on the gullibility of younger siblings?!

Spring Break finally makes an appearance

The countdown is over, folks! It's a whole week off for this teacher!! And I'm feeling super blessed that Max has the same week off from his PhD program.

To celebrate, we're going to go spend 20+ hours in a car and visit family up in Michigan. I'll grumble when I have to wear my winter coat, but at least we'll be in good company!

We're bringing Barney with us. He loves my in-laws' house... he's pretty sure it's an amusement park specially created for him!

In any case, I won't be around much this week, but I do have some excellent posts scheduled to keep you company. They've been hand picked as my favorites from 5 years of blogging!! Think of them like reruns you probably haven't seen before!

murphy's law in the classroom

Murphy's law can especially bite you in the butt at school. Consider:

*Your principal stops by for an unscheduled visit on the day you are least prepared.

*The copier jams just as you are feeding in your week's worth of worksheets. Then it breaks.

*The only staff bathroom is occupied and you really have to go. Also? You left your class with another teacher for this emergency.

*The fire drill goes off five minutes into your classroom party.

*A student spills his pudding just as you've finished the last roll of paper towels.

*On the day you were going to actually get all of your planning done, the kids are indoors for recess due to rain.

*Your computer freezes/crashes right as you go to record grades (or type up that IEP!)

What do you think.... did I miss any?

Feeling naughty

I snickered to myself as I put on my denim jacket on my way to work today. It felt so rebellious, so ... wrong.

At my last school, the principal decided that jean jackets looked like a gang sign so no staff members were allowed to wear them. This resulted in a lot of collective foot stomping and protests of "That's not fair!" There were so many perfect weather occasions that I couldn't wear my beloved jean jacket.

But I'm in Texas now, at a different school that isn't all hung up on what attire is appropriate (I can wear capris now too! Yay!). And even though there's no rule against jean jackets, I still feel like I'm breaking a rule. And it makes me smile.

What crazy rules do you have to follow where you work?

momma says "life's not fair"

For an hour every morning, I help with our third graders in Math and Science (in the general education setting). I'm in charge of three girls with severe hearing loss, one of which performs at about the early first grade level when it comes to Science.

We just held an IEP for her and decided that she needed to use the calculator so that could focus on understaning the math concepts instead of being bogged down by the actual computation.

As I handed her the calculator, another student, "Jose" (who is quite gifted) proclaimed:

"That's not fair!"

The whole class heard him, so I took the opportunity to give a brief lecture on fairness as I have come to understand it in the classroom.

Fairness does not equal "same". Fairness is everyone getting what they need in order to learn. Jose doesn't need a calculator to learn, but my student does. Not everyone needs a giant magnifying glass to do their work, but our visually impaired student does.

He seemed to understand what I was saying (either that or he shut up about it!). I've found that I've often needed to address the class when something like this happens. Why does Sue get to sit on a bean bag? How come Miguel has play doh in his desk? Why does John get to stand up to do his work? And so on.

How do you address fairness?

be honest: have you ever said this?

Have you ever said to yourself (or out loud):
"I don't want to be a teacher anymore."

I talk a lot on this blog about being a teacher: the ups, the downs, the kids, the policies, the exhaustion, and the excitement. I believe somewhere in these five or so years of archives, I have even said: "I can't imagine being anything other than a teacher."

And yet!! When I came across this article written by a 34 year teaching veteran, I could totally relate. I realize I've only been the profession for 6 years and didn't get to experience the "glory" days of teaching, but her description of what times are like right now absolutely rings true.

Teachers are in the news a lot right now with (it seems) nation-wide cuts in salaries, benefits, and even jobs. I enjoyed this clip from The Jon Stewart Show: he compared teachers with wall street. What he highlights from about minute 3:45 on to the end will have your blood boiling!

The Daily Show
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

And I also thought that this excellent interview with Diane Ravitch about the real reason for poor educational performance was also worth sharing:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Diane Ravitch

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Political Humor & Satire Blog

The Daily Show on Facebook

It all just makes me wonder if teaching is the new hated profession? Move over lawyers, there's a new butt of every joke!

I can't believe I said that

Things I've had to say to my students this week:

"Get that necklace out of your mouth!"

"Bacon comes from pigs. Yes! It does."

"You don't need to pull your pants all the way down to pee."

"You DO NOT say 'you can't make me' to a teacher."

What's come out of your mouth this week?

snapshot

I'm not sure what it is about lower elementary school students, but they don't seem to believe in the whole "raise your hand to speak" idea. I mean, sure... they believe it in theory: if I asked my whole class what they needed to do to get my attention, they would dutifully reply with a chorus of "raise your hand". But in the real world? Not so much. The kids will come right up to me if they need something. It doesn't matter that they're in first grade and have been "raising their hand" for a year and half now. I still have random students getting up out of their chairs and coming to me to ask for (fill in the blank).

So today when an office staff member came by to take a picture of me and my cooperating teacher (for a bulletin board), it was strangely fitting that I was literally waving a student out of the shot just as she clicked the button. There I was: one arm around my colleague, the other stiffly bent away from my body, shooing off a random request from a student who "forgot" to raise her hand.

I can't think of a more fitting picture to capture life in the classroom!

a horror story from the trenches of student teaching

My very first teacher observation was during my first semester of student teaching in a resource room for kids with learning disabilities.

I remember it well because it was traumatic.

I hadn't previously met the man who came to do my observation; he was part of the college faculty in the education department, but not my instructor.

Anyhow, I had a great lesson planned. I was going to teach a small group (just two first graders) about telling time to the hour. FIRST MISTAKE. Don't ever teach time or money while being observed. Just trust me.

As the man observed, my lesson spiraled downhill in a sort of out-of-control, catastrophic disaster of epic proportions. At least, that's what it felt like at the time. The kids totally didn't get it, and I wasn't on top of their impulsive and distractable behaviors.

When he pulled me into the library so he could talk about my lesson, I knew that it hadn't gone well and as soon as he started talking, I burst into tears.

And soon my tears in front of this stranger turned into little sobs. Then bigger sobs. Then I was so embarrassed that I wanted to die!

He sat in stone-like silence during my whole meltdown. When it seemed like I was maybe starting to breathe normally again, he asked very stoically: "Are you finished?"

His complete lack of compassion was so shocking. I sat there, mute, as he calmly went over my lesson. When he was done, I didn't know if I would ever teach again.

I'm happy to report that I did teach again... And teacher observations no longer scare me (I don't know how I could do worse than that first one).

What's your worst teacher observation horror story?

purely for the tax benefits, obviously

When I noticed four other teachers crowding around my doorway to listen in on my spontaneous awkward teaching moment, I just knew I'd be sharing it on the blog today!

(To understand this post, you'll need to know one thing: the kids with hearing loss that I teach also have some considerable language delays. So while they may be eight years old, their language may be more like at a 2 or 3 or 4 year old level.)

We were reading "Me on the Map", and I decided that a good extension activity would be to draw a map of our own bedrooms. I passed out white sheets of paper and some pencils and we all got down to work. Even me. I figured: why not draw my bedroom as I supervise and assist them while they draw theirs?

I drew the door.

I drew the two windows.

I drew a big square bed with two pillows.

"TWO pillows?!" one of my kiddos said. "Why TWO pillows?!?"

I answered: "One for me, and one for Mr. B."

"What? He your girlfriend?"

"Boyfriend! And no, he's not my boyfriend. He's my husband."

"You sleep with him?"

"Husband, what that?"

Turns out, "husband" is a new vocabulary word for my five students. Four of my colleagues appeared out of nowhere and gathered around as I drew a stick figure of myself on the board, labeled "Mrs. B - wife" and Max, labeled "Mr. B - husband."

"We're MARRIED." I said, taking off my ring and showing everyone.

"Ooooooohhhhh" (ah, the sound of dawning realization!)

I thought the matter was settled when someone piped up with:

"Why you married?!?"

And then the giggling from the other teachers started all over again.

monday miscellaneous

I have no coherent thoughts to put together into a nice little blog post for you. My thoughts are scattered, just like the paperwork on my teacher desk! So here, you go... some random things on my mind:

*The front office says there's no more copy paper for the teachers. But I saw a mountainous pile of paper when I peeked into the (normally locked) supply closet. Why all the hoarding?

*We had a celebration of our sight words on Friday with chips and dip! Orange cheeto-dust is hard to get off sticky fingers and mouths...

*I have two IEPs this week.

*Gabrielle Blair from Design Mom sent me the sweetest thank you note for guest posting for her! It felt like getting mail from a celebrity!

*Max and I split half a carton of Ben&Jerry's yesterday (mint cookie flavor). But I really wanted the whole carton.

*If the state of Texas doesn't issue our school district a waiver for the 5 snow days we had this month, they're going to make us use our personal days!! Ouch. I was saving those for an emergency (or maybe a cruise!)

*It's a good thing I'm more prepared for my lesson plans than I was for this blog post!

What random thoughts do you have swirling around your brain?

bippety boppety boo!

I started after-school tutoring yesterday for a group of five 4th/5th grade boys.

I went into it kicking and screaming a little because I had such a horrible experience with tutoring last year, but the following reasons made it easier to sign up (there's a lot of pressure to tutor at our school--even on Saturday mornings!):

*It's only once a week since I'm splitting the duties with a colleague.
*All the lessons are already planned and all the materials are already provided.
*It's an extra $50 a week.
*$50 buys a lot of ice cream.

Back to yesterday.

We got to the part in the lesson where we are supposed to review plot elements. The script said:

"The plot is the beginning, middle, and end of a story. Let's turn to our workbooks and write the beginning, middle, and ending of a story that we're all familiar with: Cinderella."

Cue the confusion. Cue the puzzled looks.

"Cinderella!? What's that?"

"Huh?"

"I haven't seen that movie!"

Ooooookay. So I had to stop in the middle of the script to tell the whole story of Cinderella. And I did it with gestures, expression, and all the right voices.

All five of those "macho" boys were completely enthralled! No impulsive behavior. No random fart noises. No distraction. I had them eating out of my hand.

Hmmm.... I may have missed my calling as a professional storyteller!

banging my head against the wall.... 100 times

Today was our 100th day of school celebration!

We had a whole day of workstation activities planned with all of the kindergarten and first grade classes. The kids rotated between all the classrooms for a different fun acitivity in each room. There was 100 day crowns (with sentence strips), 100 day t-shirts, 100 day trail mix, 100 day fruit loop necklaces, etc.

Stupidly, I volunteered to man the "I can ___ 100 times" station. I figured: no materials, no mess, no clean up. All I had to do was figure out with the kids what we could do 100 times.

And as it turns out, jumping, clapping, snapping, "swimming", Egyptian walking, and hopping 100 times (TIMES EVERY HALF HOUR with a different group!) is a surefire way to pass out.

Things my kiddos said:

"Let's do 100 sit ups!"

"Let's run 100 laps!"

"Let's do 100 push-ups!"

Things I wanted to say:

"Okay kids, now let's take 100 deep breaths."

"Alright, now instead of jumping jacks, let's all just blink quietly 100 times."

"Hmmm. Okay, now let's all put our heads down for 100 seconds while I go take 100 gulps of water."

Don't get me wrong - I'm glad they're having a blast, but I may need to be carried out to my car since I won't be able to walk by the end of the day!!

Parents, you're welcome

Yesterday, we had our Valentine's Day Party at school. In fact, all Valentine's Day parties were celebrated at 1:30 yesterday at our school - per the principal's decree.

Are you the kind of teacher that thrives on classroom parties? I used to be, I really did. But lately, I find that the very mention of a classroom party makes me want to hide under my desk with earplugs and a stress ball.

This year we have a fantastic room mom who took it upon herself to provide each first grader with a shoe box (wrapped in pink or red paper). She also took care of ordering the pizzas, bringing the juice, and bringing paper plates and napkins!

So we should have had a pretty stress-free party.

Except it's a classroom party at the end of the day on Friday, with lots of SUGAR and EXCITEMENT, so of course there was still some stress!

Especially when some genius in the front office decided that ten minutes into all the parties would be the PERFECT time for a fire drill.

[In fact, as soon as I heard the fire alarm, I may have shouted into the sudden silence: ARE. YOU. KIDDING ME!!! Good thing our classroom is right next to the front office. Whoops.]

When we got back from the ill-timed fire drill, we set about passing out our Valentine's Day cards. It still amazes me how excited and overjoyed the kids are to receive a preprinted little ~~Scooby Doo~~ Justin Bieber note from their friends!

Once we passed out our Valentines, we passed out from too much pizza, too many cookies, and three different kinds of cupcakes!

Then we sent the kids home!

shame... shame on me

There are two kinds of teachers in this world: those who send their students to the nurse for every little scrape and boo-boo, and those who downplay everything and make the kids tough it out.

I'm of the second camp.

*A kid falls down? "You're fine!" I say.

*Does your head hurt? "Go get a drink of water!" I say.

*Are you bleeding? (Wait, let me get out my magnifying glass for this one...) "Here's a bandaid now get back to work" I say.

So a few days ago, when I noticed some teeny-tiny red spots on "Thomas's" hands and wrists, I didn't think much of it. I asked him if his wrists were itchy, and he said no. So I figured he was fine. He wasn't complaining about it!

It occured to me that I should maybe ask the nurse to look at it just in case, but it was the end of the day and I forgot.

Today, a different teacher sent Thomas to the nurse. This teacher is more caring, and clearly belongs to the first type of teacher.

After she examined him, the nurse came to find me right away. She interrupted my lesson and pulled me out in the hallway. She told me I needed to send Thomas home, and clorox down all the surfaces in my classroom immediately- anything he could have touched.

Why?

He has scabies.

The things we do for snow days

I never thought that Texas would be a state where I compulsively checked weather.com every ten minutes, but there you have it. After a record four snow days in a row last week, we're expecting ANOTHER one tomorrow!

And I've been educating my Texas teacher colleagues on all of the superstitious behavior I learned from my Michigan teacher colleagues!

If you're gunning for a snow day, make sure to:

1. Wear your pajamas inside out.

2. Throw ice cubes into the toilet.

3. Sleep with a spoon under your pillow.

Those are the main ones that "work." Did I miss any? If there are any regional superstitions in your area for a guaranteed snow day, send them my way!!

The quadruple bypass snow day

So as it turns out, I left out a type of snow day in my Educator's Reference Guide to Snow Days :
The Quadruple Bypass: When school closes for FOUR whole days in a row!!

It has turned my weekend into a six day weekend! Here's what I've been up to:

Eating

Making cards for my store

Making flower belts (tutorial here!)

Organizing a huge raffle/giveaway to support Amy, a fellow blogger in need. You can get all the details about that upcoming event here. I hope you'll join us!

Have you had a lot of luck with snow days this week? What have you been up to?

an educator's reference guide to snow days

Today marks our second snow day in a row! Our area of Texas got hit with freezing rain/sleet/snow. And the coldest temps in fifteen years! Unfortunately, we have to make up any snow days we take (but I'll just let Future Sarah worry about that!)

In the meantime, enjoy this handy reference guide to snow days:

Snow Days:

Standard Snow Day: You knew it was coming, and it came!

Over-hype Call: There was supposed to be a storm. They panic and call it. Then there's barely any snow.

The Perfect Storm: A huge storm is forecast. You get the call that school will be canceled tomorrow. And it's Thursday night. (Yay THREE day weekends!)

The Double Whammy: Same as The Perfect Storm but with more than one snow day in a row.

The Surprise Party: You had no idea there was any chance of a snow day. You wake up in the morning to a surprise call and get as excited as a kid at Christmas!

The Fun Snow Day: School is canceled due to freezing rain... which melts by the time you wake up!

The Too Cool for School: It's twenty below and too cold to wait outside for the school bus. Or start your car.

The Heart-breaker: A two hour delay instead of a snow day.

The Tormentor: A standard snow day, but your power is out. And the roads are too bad to go anywhere. You're cold, you're bored, and you wish you were at school after all.

The Missed Memo: You get to school, only to find out that the doors are locked and school was canceled while you were on your way.

The Hostage Situation: It's the Missed Memo, plus you get stuck at school because Mom and Dad dropped you off before you realized. And now the teachers are stuck because the kids can't be left at school alone...

Non-snow Days:

The Over-hype: Everyone thought it was going to be the Snowpocalypse, and instead it's just overcast.

The Stubborn No-call: The weather is bad enough, but they won't call it because the last snow day was a mistake (see Over-hype Call) OR they've already called too many snow days.

The Odd Man Out: Every other district EXCEPT YOURS has called a snow day.

The Toughman Contest: There's an escalating war between superintendents to see who can tough it out the longest.

**This post could not have been written without my husband's expertise!**

What do you think... did we miss any?

like driving blindfolded

I'd been hearing rumors about it for months.

My supervisor would say strange things like "Quick! Order whatever you want for your classroom NOW! There's not going to be any money for anything next year..."

The news was reporting that many Texas districts would have to drastically cut programs.

Then we got a cryptic email from our superintendent with the number of dollars we were going to have to cut for next year. It was in the billions. That's with a "b" folks!

Our superintendent told us:

"If we cut all school buses, if we stopped feeding the children, if we stopped using any electricity, or providing any school supplies, it STILL wouldn't be enough savings to make up the deficit."

All this to let us know that, um, nothing and no one is safe! We'll know more by July, and I'm not too nervous because I'm feeling all safe with my special education degree (for now!).

But the reality is going to be hard to swallow next year. Teachers will be let go. There will be bigger class sizes, fewer aides, and close to zero supplies. And the kicker? We'll be expected to teach just as effectively!

who are you and what have you done with our principal?

Last Monday, the principal announced that instead of the professional development we were all supposed to have on Friday afternoon, we were going to do a "team building activity."

Cue the fear.

I had visions of rock wall climbing, relay races, role playing, and *gasp!* backwards trust falls.

She wouldn't give any more hints as to what we would be doing, except that we needed to make sure to wear comfortable jeans and sneakers.

When Friday finally rolled around, and all the kids were dismissed at noon for the teachers' "meeting", we all gathered together in the library.

In a very uncharacteristic move, our principal explained that the district had set aside this afternoon to look at assessment data. "But because we look at our students' data every other week for our intervention planning, I thought it would be better if instead we all went....

BOWLING!!!"

Cue the cheers and applause. And relief!!

Our event was paid for by a private donation, and we were all able to enjoy two hours of free bowling. Everyone had a great time, even though I'm pretty sure no one broke 100. (I don't think bowling is a Texas thing...)

Either way, it was just what our collective spirits needed during these tough winter days! Yay for GREAT administrative decisions!!

At least he didn't chuck a tomato

Since I teach in a regional program serving a low-incidence population (kids with hearing loss), I've become used to having visitors drop by. Other professionals may be curious, or representatives from other school districts want to evaluate our program for whatever reason.

Yesterday my supervisor dropped by with two strangers in tow. I knew they were coming, and when they walked in the door, I was in the middle of a language lesson about superlatives. (And in case you've forgotten all that you've learned about English grammar, here's an example of a superlative: smart, smarter, smartest.)

I was feeling all superior with my snazzy pictures (three different sizes of apples for "smaller than" and "smallest") and my sentence strips. But the lesson just wasn't clicking with four out of my five students. I was arranging the pictures on the pocket chart and labeling them with "smaller than" and "smallest".

I would prompt every once in a while with "Is this the right order?!"

And then...

while three adults were watching me...

one of my little first graders yelled "BOOOOO" right at me. Thumbs down and all!

I laughed nervously (my lesson was already going south), and directed a comment towards my grown-up audience: "Well, this is the first time I've ever been booed during an observation before!! Haha...ha."

I realized a little later that this student had actually booed in response to my question about the order of the apple pictures.

Why he didn't just say "No" is a mystery I'm still trying to solve.

Top 5 ways to ruin a first grader's day

Because of the holiday on Monday and our professional development day on Tuesday, we only have a three day week with the kiddos! It's the perfect excuse to kick the curriculum to the sidelines and do some fun and different things.

Today I read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (a personal favorite). It's great for teaching inferencing and drawing conclusions.

Later, we discussed some things that make us have a bad day. Here's what my first graders came up with:

1. when there's a bug in the house
2. when mom says no running in the store
3. when I have to play with my sister
4. when I can't sleep in the classroom
5. when I have to eat salad

Maybe, maybe not

There's nothing wrong with this short video in theory. It reminds kids that if you want something, you have work hard to attain it. That skills don't just fall into your lap, you actually have to practice. This is a good message.

But I saw it at our professional development day today, and it rubbed me the wrong way. I would just hate for some poor kid to dedicate his whole life to becoming an NBA star - putting in all that hard work, all that practice, all the sweat and tears. And maybe he makes to the NBA, but maybe not. Maybe he just ends up in division one basketball and that's it. Or maybe he makes the varsity high school team. But he doesn't accept that and his life becomes one big frustration... maybe even failure.

I'm not saying kids shouldn't strive to be all that they can be. But I am saying I'm getting a little sick of every Disney movie promising every kid that they can be whatever they want to be, all they have to do is BELIEVE!

I'm never going to be a famous singer. I can carry a tune, that's about it. If I was dedicated and practiced and took voice lessons, I could maybe join a choir somewhere and sound decent. But I won't be signing multi-million dollar record labels. There's something to be said about having a natural gift for something.

I think each one of our students has a lot of potential and many hidden talents and gifts. And they should be given every chance to grow their talents and gifts and become all that they can be.

But not everyone will be the next Michael Jordan. Not everyone CAN be.

running with the big dogs

Our nice friends who took our dog Barney for two weeks over Christmas asked us if we would return the favor this weekend.

Sure! What's a couple of days with an extra couple of pets around? Never mind that they're huge...

So for four days we have three cats and three dogs. Here are my observations so far:

* Big dogs eat A LOT. They might even eat more than we do.

* When a big dog jumps up to greet you, he's looking right into your face!

* A big dog fart reeks just as much as a small dog fart.

* A big dog still wants to sit on your lap. He doesn't think he's that big.

* When you're on the couch and you lean over top of a big dog, he doesn't whimper like a small dog. In fact, he barely even notices. Want to use the big dog as an extra couch pillow? No problem!

* When Max and I plus the three dogs are sitting in front of the TV, our couch seems suspiciously small.

* The kitchen floor is practically flooded from all of the vigorous water lapping.

* When a big dog accidentally pees in the house, you don't need paper towels to clean it up. You need TOWELS!

* Two of our three cats are ready to murder everybody.

The owners will be coming by tonight to pick up their two dogs. Barney will probably be catching up on his sleep tomorrow and the cats will most likely be catching their breath!

are you smarter than a first grader?

As soon as I saw the very first question of our district's reading benchmark test, I was ready to grab my purse, drive over to the central office, find the assessment center, and THROTTLE some people.

Now it's no secret how I feel about testing. There's lots not to like.

But the first question of this reading test (meant for FIRST graders) even stumped my husband - who's working on his Ph.D!

Here's the question (asked orally - the kids only have the answer choices in front of them):

Which word begins with the same sound as "safe"?

A. swing

B. map

C. set

D. slip

Are you scratching your head in confusion yet?

The correct answer is "C" because the other answers are S-blends. But it took me more than 60 full seconds to realize that. So I'm pretty sure my first graders didn't start their test with any sort of self-confidence!

In related news, it turns out that the people at the assessment center are idiots.

think with your head, not with your wallet

Dear School District,

I'm disappointed in you.

When you decided NOT to cancel or delay school today (unlike the 30 districts around us), you must have forgotten that not all the staff members live in town. Some of us have to drive quite a ways across those icy roads and through that freezing rain to come to school.

But apparently you were motivated by money, and not safety.

And while I inched my way to school, driving white-knuckled through traffic jams, I wondered how many of my students who are bussed in from 30 to 40 minutes away were going to be waiting for me.

The answer? Not enough kids to warrant following my lesson plans. Forty percent of them stayed home! I'll be honest, it was tough to have a good attitude after that.

I was even more resentful of your greedy decision-making policies when one of my colleagues got into a car accident and won't be able to come back for a few weeks.

So, School District, the next time that you think it's "safe enough" for the kids to come to school, don't forget about the staff!

Signed,
A Special Ed. Teacher

i knew all this trouble was worth it

We are still studying rocks in first grade science. Truthfully, we didn't get much science in during that last week before Christmas break (our thoughts were preoccupied with Santa after all) so now we are playing catch up. You might remember that the rocks unit is not my favorite unit to teach.

So it was with a bit of a sigh that I walked into the classroom with a small bucket of sand, 22 vials, and a pitcher of water. We were going to mix sand and water in a vial and observe what happened. Now don't get me wrong: I love to do hands-on activities. But SAND? I had visions of our classroom looking like a beach. And not in the relaxing way.

I started off the lesson by ~~pleading~~ telling them to be careful not to spill their sand and to remember to snap the cap on tightly. I explained the recording sheet and how they were going to record their observations. The kids nodded solemnly and promised to be responsible. Judging by the amount of wiggling and the high pitched murmurs throughout the room, most of them could barely contain their excitement as we went about filling our vials with sand and water.

In fairness to them, we only had one spill and it was mainly contained to a desk. And I totally felt like an awesome teacher when one of my little girls looked up at me with her chubby cheeks and lost-tooth smile and declared:

"Science ROCKS!!!"

Up next? a geography lesson!

We're reading a story this week about Tomas Rivera (a famous author). I sat my first graders down in a circle in front of me and we all opened our books.

The first line read: "Tomas Rivera was born in Texas."

I paused dramatically, wanting them to make a personal connection like 'hey, that's where we live!' So I said:

"Tomas Rivera was born in TEXAS?! Where do WE live?"

The responses were just as enthusiastic as my question and were shouted triumphantly and simultaneously by three of my students:

"At HOME!"

"At SCHOOL!"

"MEXICO!!!!!!!"

where's the remote control?

I'd love to have a remote control for life.

We're back to school today and it's a whopping ten weeks until our next break. Honestly, if I had a remote control, I'd fast forward to June!

In the meantime, I'm going to remember that this school year has been the EASIEST of my career. I only have eight kids. I practically just teach one grade level. I work with a fantastic team of teachers. None of my kids have major behavior issues and none of their parents are difficult (can I hear an AMEN?!). I've been off my principal's radar and have had no major issues with administration.

It's been an easy, breezy, beautiful year! I should probably just focus on that instead of the TEN. MORE. WEEKS.

happy new year!

Instead of sleeping in after a wild night of partying (as I imagine all of you cooler-than-me people did), we're taking a flight back to Texas today. That's kinda sad, mainly because: Texas = Not France.

Here are a just a few pictures of our lovely time here - from my dad's camera, because we were too lazy to upload ours just yet.