Pee happens

I was talking with a friend of mine over the weekend who admitted to drinking at least one can of soda each day at work (she's an accountant). "The only problem," she said, "is that I have to get up and pee a lot"

To which I replied: "Hey at least you have the luxury of peeing whenever you want to!"

You know, because I'm a teacher. And we have to wait until recess or our planning period or lunch to go pee.

I have this vision of what it's like to not be a teacher: you get expense accounts, an hour or two for lunch, and you can leave your office whenever you feel like peeing. No holding it!!

Then yesterday happened.

Yesterday was the state standardized test for our fourth graders. The rules for administering the test are taken very seriously. Like you have to go to special meetings, sign papers, vow not to do ANYTHING except stand there and monitor the students. Anyways, there were many special education students (including mine) testing out in the portable (there are five or six classrooms in ours). There are extra staff available in the hall to escort children who need to use the bathroom to and from the main building. They are also available to stand in for us should any of us teachers need to use the bathroom.

I've gone through this testing stuff before with my fifth graders at the beginning of the month. But this time was different. One of the staff, upon returning from the staff bathroom (which is located in the nurse's office) reported in hushed whispers that the nurse was MAKING TALLY MARKS for each time you left your room to use the bathroom.

TALLY MARKS. I'm assuming that this sheet of paper will get handed to the principal (who undoubtedly asked for it in the first place). And what will the principal do with it? Will she write us up for insufficient bladder control? Do we have a pee-pee quota I'm not aware of? Will she confiscate the pop in the vending machines? Will she make teachers start using a hall pass?

I think I'm going to be sick. But wait, that would mean running to the bathroom, which apparently is no longer allowed...