A cautionary tale

My husband is out of town for a little more than a week to go to a conference. Apparently, he couldn't handle driving 40+ hours across the country with no cruise control and no air, so he took MY car... leaving me with the car with no cruise control, no air, and MANUAL TRANSMISSION.

In preparation for his departure, he had been teaching me how to drive wtih a stick shift. I kinda have the hang of it, but it doesn't stop me from having a heart attack every time I need to use the car.

So last night when I decided I needed a gourmet sandwich with some gourmet ingredients, I thought to myself: "Why not avoid a panic attack and just walk the half mile to the store?"

It was a great idea! Except that it was 98 degrees outside and positively sweltering. When I finally made it to the store, I just about collapsed into a sweaty heap in the produce department.

When I recovered, I made my way to the deli counter and asked the nice 40-something lady behind the counter how much the prosciutto was. $12.99 a pound. Then she asked me how much I wanted.

"Three ounces", I said.

Meat Lady: "Okay, there's sixteen ounces in a pound, so.... that's about half a pound, right?"

Me: "..."

Me [once I picked my jaw up off the floor]: "Ummm. I think it's actually closer to less than a quarter pound"

The moral of the story?

Be cool, stay in school!

Oh, and Don't be a wuss, and just drive the car already!

14 comments:

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

Wow, that is so special.

My sis in law was baking cupcakes once, but she needed to double the recipe. So she asked me what a third plus a third was.

I just laughed and wondered how she managed to graduate from high school.

forty-something chick said...

I love the "..." and the jaw dropping to the floor! I am constantly amazed at how hard it is for some people to just THINK about something before just guessing and/or blurting out!

Be cool, stay in school...or at least stay cool in the car!!

Good luck!

Shell said...

SERIOUSLY????

People scare me with their stupidity.

I already follow you, of course, but this is my official "welcome to SITS" stop in. :)

Randy et Jan said...

Is an ounce like a gram?? Mom

Elissa said...

We were thinking of hiring a receptionist where I work. She was young, polite and actually showed up on time for the interview. Unfortunately she didn't know she showed up on time. She had to ask me what the big hand on the clock meant?

My hubs taught me to drive a stick in a cemetery. Said I couldn't scare anyone there:-)

Be cool, take the car & don't teach kids to tell time on a digital clock.

WhisperingWriter said...

Yes definately stay in school.

I have no idea how to drive a manual car though.

Sharlene T. said...

I once asked a waitress to get me some cigarettes from the machine (Okay. It was 35 CENTS a pack! That's how far back!) When I still hadn't received after half an hour, I called her over and asked if there was anything wrong...her reply, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I can't figure out whether the quarter or the dime goes in, first, and I'm waiting for my boss to tell me." ...there's nothing to say to that... come visit when you can...

Sandy said...

Are you kidding me? That's crazy!

Welcome to SITS! It's great to have you in the SITStahood!

Kenzie said...

Poor you! Boo on the manual! And thanks for the laugh!

northstar1128 said...

I once heard a story about a person ordering coffee at the Mcdonalds drive-thru. When she ordered, she asked for a coffee with ice in it. Naturally to cool it down. She waited and waited and finally the girl comes to the window and says, "Mam, I can't keep the ice cubes from melting."

Just Lisa said...

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

Some people aren't so bright! It was probably me you were talking to!

I came by to welcome you to SITS! We're happy to have you with us!

Sweetieshop said...

heehee that's funny. Thanks for the chuckle :D

Charlotte said...

I made the mistake of thinking it would be fun to walk to the store a half mile from my house ... with all my kids ... in the middle of summer ... in North Carolina. Only to find out my debit card was not working. I think the checker thought we were homeless.

At least I know how to do division!

Jennifer said...

That's kind of sad. Although I'm sure I've had moments where my brain quit working and I just blanked. Maybe we can hope it was that.

And no way should be walking anywhere as hot as it is. I would have probably just done without the sandwich.

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest.

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