Mowgli speaking



Dear Diary,

Today marks Day 5 of Doggy Domination. It all started when the humans brought in a second monster dog. Maybe forever? It's too soon to tell. New-dog is gigantic. Perhaps a horse? Will need to look it up. New-dog barks loudly. It makes my fur stand up on end. It's also thirsty all the time. It gulps water down its' gullet so noisily and so sloppily that a stream of liquid trails in its' wake.

Per my observations, three days ago boy-human left. Maybe forever. Girl-human is here all day. She only says "No", "Go outside", and "Play nice".

Old-dog and New-dog run and crash around my couch, my rug, my kitchen, and my hallway. There are only two places that are safe (note to self: look for more safe places): 1. under the guest bed in the nice hole I dug under the box spring, and 2. on top of the refrigerator.

Fool-cat goes anywhere she pleases, even in the middle of the dogs. She doesn't know she will get eaten. Good riddance to her, I say.

Nice-fluffy-cat slinks low to the ground from one place to another. She claims she has safe places, but they're not really. I tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen. Poor soul.

What New-dog doesn't know is that I have a secret weapon. I've been sharpening my claws to razor sharp daggers for years now in anticipation of just such an emergency. The humans try to clip them, but their efforts are always fruitless! So if New-dog manages to get anywhere close to me, I will scratch the snot out of his gullet.

Consider this a warning.



This post was written for Word Up, Yo! This week's word of the week was "gullet". If you'd like to play along, you link up at Mommy of a Monster, A Belle, a Bean, and a Chicago dog, and Taming Insanity. Have fun!

13 comments:

Vanessa said...

Haha too funny! Good luck kitty!

Ms. Understood said...

LOL!!!! Get 'em Mowgli!!! My cat actually growls (like a dog) and my dogs. They understand her when she does it and it they don't move fast enough, it's paws and claws of fury on 'em.

Liz said...

Thanks so, SO much for joining in!! I never thought of a cat using the word gullet before - Impressive! I can see it, though. Cats are not generally fans of dogs.

Sonora said...

Awesome! I love how you got the word in there twice! I am a cat lover myself. Dogs are fine, as long as I am not the one who owns them and they don't bark by my house or poop in my yard. Ok, I am really just a cat person!
Great post!

Sharlene T. said...

It's hard when they just keep bringing new tenants, isn't it, Kitty! Well, you just hang in there and use his head for a basketball; that'll give you the upper paw for life...come visit when you can...

Twitter: SolarChief

Sharlene T. said...

It's hard when they just keep bringing new tenants, isn't it, Kitty! Well, you just hang in there and use his head for a basketball; that'll give you the upper paw for life...come visit when you can...

Twitter: SolarChief

Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points said...

Your cats and our cats should be kept apart like plutonium and...ummm...whatever it is you're not supposed to put next to plutonium because then things explode in really bad ways.

Right. Keep our cats apart like that stuff!

Kisha said...

Ha ha, I'm SO glad I am not the only one who blogs for my cat! She does an advice column occasionally, you know, because she knows everything. Ha! Thanks for coming by on my SITS day and leaving such kind comments, I really appreciate it! I'm so glad you did, because I love your blog! And your layout is gorgeous!

Jen said...

LOL! That was too funny.

(popped over from SITS)

hannah said...

CUUUUUUUUUUUTE. Next time more mishpellingzz and he can join lolcatz!! :)

Anonymous said...

Ah, the writing has begun! And you gave Mowgli an authentic voice! Love the story...Brenda

KLZ said...

I have always suspected that cats have excellent vocabulary.

Cori Benson said...

Pooooooor kitty!! Good luck Mowgli!!

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