Where teacher gifts go to die

Somewhere out in the universe, I can picture a large warehouse. In this warehouse, there's a thick layer of yellow dandelions carpeting the floor. There are shelves that reach to the ceiling filled with dollar-store-chocolate, kitschy stuffed animals, teacher mugs, miniature snow globes, and cheap picture frames.

Yes, my friends. I'm talking about the Land of Teacher Gifts.

The other day, I was supervising the first graders as we took our bathroom  break. "Trent" came out of the bathroom stalls holding a yellow dandelion for me. Seeing as how he didn't enter the bathroom with that "flower', and we hadn't gone outside for recess, I was a little hesitant to accept his spontaneous gift.

I said: "Ummm, that's okay, you hold on to it for a while, I don't have anywhere to put it at the moment."

Three hours later, at the end of the day, Trent presents me with the same yellow flower (albeit a little more smooshed and droopy). He was so proud and had this beaming grin, so I really had to take it.

And later, when all the children had left the premises, I placed his kind gift in the trash can. I'd like to to think that I sent it off to a better place. The Land of Teacher Gifts.

inspiration

I was recently going through some old photos of my years teaching in California. Right after Open House at end of the year, the teachers would get to walk through each other's rooms, ooh-ing and ahh-ing over fun and clever displays.

I took my camera through those walks, in case I wanted to use any of these ideas later. (Hey, it's all in the name of collaboration, right?)

I thought I'd share them with you, just in case you were scrambling to find project ideas for your walls!

Don't you just love all the cutesy fun stuff of being a teacher?!?

new kid on the block

It's been a rough first week back from Spring Break. It was the usual "Oh-no-there's-eleven-more-weeks-to-go" slump, plus I got a new student.

Remember when I kept saying what an easy and great year it's been for me? Well, apparently I should have been knocking on more wood.

The new girl, "Tammy" has thrown quite a wrench into things. She's a nine year old second grader who came to our program because she's too high functioning for the multi-handicapped unit where she'd been placed this year.  The problem is that she's too low functioning for our program.

Tammy is a darling little girl with the most charming smile, but here are the issues I've been dealing with:

*Sometimes, she can only understand if you sign to her. This is an oral program and my knowledge of sign is limited.

*If I ask her a question, 90% of the time she'll answer me in "Spanish". I have to use quotation marks here because our Spanish-speaking aide can't understand her.

*She's a wanderer. One second she's at her seat, and the next she's going through my desk drawers.

*She's bossy and likes to tell the other kids what to do (Ha! Just like me!)

*She can only count to 14, and she knows 22 out of 26 letters of the alphabet. She can't write her letters yet.

So it seems that I have my work cut out for me! The sad truth is that our district is NOT providing her with an appropriate eduction: she would be very successful in a self-contained hearing impaired classroom (we're a mainstream program that pulls out for Language Arts). The problem is that the district doesn't provide that kind of program. They know they need it. There's just no money.

I wish I could tell mom to sue.

I really hate it when the educational system lets our kids down...

school-topia

There would only be ten kids in each classroom, K-5.

 

The basal reading series would be an optional resource.

 

The copier would never run out of toner or paper, nor would it jam.

 

The library would be overflowing with quality books.

 

Each classroom would have gobs of storage space filled with tons of Lakeshore materials (that you didn't have to buy yourself!)

 

The administration would leave you completely alone.

 

The teachers would decide which district and/or state tests to administer, and when.

 

The kids would get at least two recesses every day, K-5.

 

The classrooms would be JUMBO sized.

 

There would be a computer for each child.

 

All the school computers would always work, and never break down.

 

There would be an aide for every teacher.

 

There would be goodies in the teacher's lounge every day!

 

Whaddaya think? Did I miss any? Would you work at this school? I think most of us would be happy if just the first one could happen!

see what I missed by not having an older brother

This morning, The first graders were sharing what they did over Spring Break. They stood up one by one in front of their friends and told their favorite part. There were lots of stories about going to the zoo, the science museum, and the amusement park.

 

One boy stood up and said that he and his family drove to Mexico to visit his grandparents. He was beaming and obviously very proud. I didn't think much of it until I ran into his older brother (who's in fifth grade).

 

"Hey 'Jim', how was Mexico?" I asked him.

 

"Mexico? I didn't go to Mexico."

 

"But your little brother said you all went down there to visit your grandparents!"

 

"No we drove to Houston to visit them. I just told him for fun that we were driving to Mexico."

 

I guess what are older brothers for, if not to prey on the gullibility of younger siblings?!

Spring Break finally makes an appearance

The countdown is over, folks! It's a whole week off for this teacher!! And I'm feeling super blessed that Max has the same week off from his PhD program.

To celebrate, we're going to go spend 20+ hours in a car and visit family up in Michigan. I'll grumble when I have to wear my winter coat, but at least we'll be in good company!

We're bringing Barney with us. He loves my in-laws' house... he's pretty sure it's an amusement park specially created for him!

In any case, I won't be around much this week, but I do have some excellent posts scheduled to keep you company. They've been hand picked as my favorites from 5 years of blogging!! Think of them like reruns you probably haven't seen before!

murphy's law in the classroom

Murphy's law can especially bite you in the butt at school. Consider:

*Your principal stops by for an unscheduled visit on the day you are least prepared.

*The copier jams just as you are feeding in your week's worth of worksheets. Then it breaks.

*The only staff bathroom is occupied and you really have to go. Also? You left your class with another teacher for this emergency.

*The fire drill goes off five minutes into your classroom party.

*A student spills his pudding just as you've finished the last roll of paper towels.

*On the day you were going to actually get all of your planning done, the kids are indoors for recess due to rain.

*Your computer freezes/crashes right as you go to record grades (or type up that IEP!)

What do you think.... did I miss any?

Feeling naughty

I snickered to myself as I put on my denim jacket on my way to work today. It felt so rebellious, so ... wrong.

 

At my last school, the principal decided that jean jackets looked like a gang sign so no staff members were allowed to wear them. This resulted in a lot of collective foot stomping and protests of "That's not fair!" There were so many perfect weather occasions that I couldn't wear my beloved jean jacket.

 

But I'm in Texas now, at a different school that isn't all hung up on what attire is appropriate (I can wear capris now too! Yay!). And even though there's no rule against jean jackets, I still feel like I'm breaking a rule. And it makes me smile.

 

What crazy rules do you have to follow where you work?

momma says "life's not fair"

For an hour every morning, I help with our third graders in Math and Science (in the general education setting). I'm in charge of three girls with severe hearing loss, one of which performs at about the early first grade level when it comes to Science.

 

We just held an IEP for her and decided that she needed to use the calculator so that could focus on understaning the math concepts instead of being bogged down by the actual computation.

 

As I handed her the calculator, another student, "Jose" (who is quite gifted) proclaimed:

 

"That's not fair!"

 

The whole class heard him, so I took the opportunity to give a brief lecture on fairness as I have come to understand it in the classroom.

 

Fairness does not equal "same". Fairness is everyone getting what they need in order to learn. Jose doesn't need a calculator to learn, but my student does. Not everyone needs a giant magnifying glass to do their work, but our visually impaired student does.

 

He seemed to understand what I was saying (either that or he shut up about it!). I've found that I've often needed to address the class when something like this happens. Why does Sue get to sit on a bean bag? How come Miguel has play doh in his desk? Why does John get to stand up to do his work? And so on.

 

How do you address fairness?

be honest: have you ever said this?

Have you ever said to yourself (or out loud):
"I don't want to be a teacher anymore."


I talk a lot on this blog about being a teacher: the ups, the downs, the kids, the policies, the exhaustion, and the excitement. I believe somewhere in these five or so years of archives, I have even said: "I can't imagine being anything other than a teacher."

And yet!! When I came across this article written by a 34 year teaching veteran, I could totally relate. I realize I've only been the profession for 6 years and didn't get to experience the "glory" days of teaching, but her description of what times are like right now absolutely rings true.

Teachers are in the news a lot right now with (it seems) nation-wide cuts in salaries, benefits, and even jobs. I enjoyed this clip from The Jon Stewart Show: he compared teachers with wall street. What he highlights from about minute 3:45 on to the end will have your blood boiling!

The Daily Show
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

And I also thought that this excellent interview with Diane Ravitch  about the real reason for poor educational performance was also worth sharing:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Diane Ravitch
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

It all just makes me wonder if teaching is the new hated profession? Move over lawyers, there's a new butt of every joke!

I can't believe I said that

Things I've had to say to my students this week:

"Get that necklace out of your mouth!"

"Bacon comes from pigs. Yes! It does."

"You don't need to pull your pants all the way down to pee."

"You DO NOT say 'you can't make me' to a teacher."

What's come out of your mouth this week?

snapshot

I'm not sure what it is about lower elementary school students, but they don't seem to believe in the whole "raise your hand to speak" idea. I mean, sure... they believe it in theory: if I asked my whole class what they needed to do to get my attention, they would dutifully reply with a chorus of "raise your hand". But in the real world? Not so much. The kids will come right up to me if they need something. It doesn't matter that they're in first grade and have been "raising their hand" for a year and half now. I still have random students getting up out of their chairs and coming to me to ask for (fill in the blank).

 

So today when an office staff member came by to take a picture of me and my cooperating teacher (for a bulletin board), it was strangely fitting that I was literally waving a student out of the shot just as she clicked the button. There I was: one arm around my colleague, the other stiffly bent away from my body, shooing off a random request from a student who "forgot" to raise her hand.

 

I can't think of a more fitting picture to capture life in the classroom!

a horror story from the trenches of student teaching

My very first teacher observation was during my first semester of student teaching in a resource room for kids with learning disabilities.

I remember it well because it was traumatic.

I hadn't previously met the man who came to do my observation; he was part of the college faculty in the education department, but not my instructor.

Anyhow, I had a great lesson planned. I was going to teach a small group (just two first graders) about telling time to the hour. FIRST MISTAKE. Don't ever teach time or money while being observed. Just trust me.

As the man observed, my lesson spiraled downhill in a sort of out-of-control, catastrophic disaster of epic proportions. At least, that's what it felt like at the time. The kids totally didn't get it, and I wasn't on top of their impulsive and distractable behaviors.

When he pulled me into the library so he could talk about my lesson, I knew that it hadn't gone well and as soon as he started talking, I burst into tears.

And soon my tears in front of this stranger turned into little sobs. Then bigger sobs. Then I was so embarrassed that I wanted to die!

He sat in stone-like silence during my whole meltdown. When it seemed like I was maybe starting to breathe normally again, he asked very stoically: "Are you finished?"

His complete lack of compassion was so shocking. I sat there, mute, as he calmly went over my lesson. When he was done, I didn't know if I would ever teach again.

I'm happy to report that I did teach again... And teacher observations no longer scare me (I don't know how I could do worse than that first one).

What's your worst teacher observation horror story?

purely for the tax benefits, obviously

When I noticed four other teachers crowding around my doorway to listen in on my spontaneous awkward teaching moment, I just knew I'd be sharing it on the blog today!

 

(To understand this post, you'll need to know one thing: the kids with hearing loss that I teach also have some considerable language delays. So while they may be eight years old, their language may be more like at a 2 or 3 or 4 year old level.)

 

We were reading "Me on the Map", and I decided that a good extension activity would be to draw a map of our own bedrooms. I passed out white sheets of paper and some pencils and we all got down to work. Even me. I figured: why not draw my bedroom as I supervise and assist them while they draw theirs?

 

I drew the door.

 

I drew the two windows.

 

I drew a big square bed with two pillows.

 

"TWO pillows?!" one of my kiddos said. "Why TWO pillows?!?"

 

I answered: "One for me, and one for Mr. B."

 

"What? He your girlfriend?"

 

"Boyfriend! And no, he's not my boyfriend. He's my husband."

 

"You sleep with him?"

 

"Husband, what that?"

 

Turns out, "husband" is a new vocabulary word for my five students. Four of my colleagues appeared out of nowhere and gathered around as I drew a stick figure of myself on the board, labeled "Mrs. B - wife" and Max, labeled "Mr. B - husband."

 

"We're MARRIED." I said, taking off my ring and showing everyone.

 

"Ooooooohhhhh" (ah, the sound of dawning realization!)

 

I thought the matter was settled when someone piped up with:

 

"Why you married?!?"

 

And then the giggling from the other teachers started all over again.

monday miscellaneous

I have no coherent thoughts to put together into a nice little blog post for you. My thoughts are scattered, just like the paperwork on my teacher desk! So here, you go... some random things on my mind:

*The front office says there's no more copy paper for the teachers. But I saw a mountainous pile of paper when I peeked into the (normally locked) supply closet. Why all the hoarding?

 

*We had a celebration of our sight words on Friday with chips and dip! Orange cheeto-dust is hard to get off sticky fingers and mouths...

 

*I have two IEPs this week.

 

*Gabrielle Blair from Design Mom sent me the sweetest thank you note for guest posting for her! It felt like getting mail from a celebrity!

 

*Max and I split half a carton of Ben&Jerry's yesterday (mint cookie flavor). But I really wanted the whole carton.

 

*If the state of Texas doesn't issue our school district a waiver for the 5 snow days we had this month, they're going to make us use our personal days!! Ouch. I was saving those for an emergency (or maybe a cruise!)

 

*It's a good thing I'm more prepared for my lesson plans than I was for this blog post!

 

What random thoughts do you have swirling around your brain?

bippety boppety boo!

I started after-school tutoring yesterday for a group of five 4th/5th grade boys.

I went into it kicking and screaming a little because I had such a horrible experience with tutoring last year, but the following reasons made it easier to sign up (there's a lot of pressure to tutor at our school--even on Saturday mornings!):

*It's only once a week since I'm splitting the duties with a colleague.
*All the lessons are already planned and all the materials are already provided.
*It's an extra $50 a week.
*$50 buys a lot of ice cream.

Back to yesterday.

We got to the part in the lesson where we are supposed to review plot elements. The script said:

"The plot is the beginning, middle, and end of a story. Let's turn to our workbooks and write the beginning, middle, and ending of a story that we're all familiar with: Cinderella."

Cue the confusion. Cue the puzzled looks.

"Cinderella!? What's that?"

"Huh?"

"I haven't seen that movie!"

Ooooookay. So I had to stop in the middle of the script to tell the whole story of Cinderella. And I did it with gestures, expression, and all the right voices.

All five of those "macho" boys were completely enthralled! No impulsive behavior. No random fart noises. No distraction. I had them eating out of my hand.

Hmmm.... I may have missed my calling as a professional storyteller!

banging my head against the wall.... 100 times

Today was our 100th day of school celebration!

 

We had a whole day of workstation activities planned with all of the kindergarten and first grade classes. The kids rotated between all the classrooms for a different fun acitivity in each room. There was 100 day crowns (with sentence strips), 100 day t-shirts, 100 day trail mix, 100 day fruit loop necklaces, etc.

 

Stupidly, I volunteered to man the "I can ___ 100 times" station. I figured: no materials, no mess, no clean up. All I had to do was figure out with the kids what we could do 100 times.

 

And as it turns out, jumping, clapping, snapping, "swimming", Egyptian walking, and hopping 100 times (TIMES EVERY HALF HOUR with a different group!) is a surefire way to pass out.

 

Things my kiddos said:

"Let's do 100 sit ups!"

 

"Let's run 100 laps!"

 

"Let's do 100 push-ups!"

 

Things I wanted to say:

"Okay kids, now let's take 100 deep breaths."

 

"Alright, now instead of jumping jacks, let's all just blink quietly 100 times."

 

"Hmmm. Okay, now let's all put our heads down for 100 seconds while I go take 100 gulps of water."

 

Don't get me wrong - I'm glad they're having a blast, but I may need to be carried out to my car since I won't be able to walk by the end of the day!!

 

 

Parents, you're welcome

Yesterday, we had our Valentine's Day Party at school. In fact, all Valentine's Day parties were celebrated at 1:30 yesterday at our school - per the principal's decree.

Are you the kind of teacher that thrives on classroom parties? I used to be, I really did. But lately, I find that the very mention of a classroom party makes me want to hide under my desk with earplugs and a stress ball.

This year we have a fantastic room mom who took it upon herself to provide each first grader with a shoe box (wrapped in pink or red paper). She also took care of ordering the pizzas, bringing the juice, and bringing paper plates and napkins!

So we should have had a pretty stress-free party.

Except it's a classroom party at the end of the day on Friday, with lots of SUGAR and EXCITEMENT, so of course there was still some stress!

Especially when some genius in the front office decided that ten minutes into all the parties would be the PERFECT time for a fire drill.

[In fact, as soon as I heard the fire alarm, I may have shouted into the sudden silence: ARE. YOU. KIDDING ME!!! Good thing our classroom is right next to the front office. Whoops.]

When we got back from the ill-timed fire drill, we set about passing out our Valentine's Day cards. It still amazes me how excited and overjoyed the kids are to receive a preprinted little Scooby Doo Justin Bieber note from their friends!

Once we passed out our Valentines, we passed out from too much pizza, too many cookies, and three different kinds of cupcakes!

Then we sent the kids home!

shame... shame on me

There are two kinds of teachers in this world: those who send their students to the nurse for every little scrape and boo-boo, and those who downplay everything and make the kids tough it out.

I'm of the second camp.

*A kid falls down? "You're fine!" I say.

*Does your head hurt? "Go get a drink of water!" I say.

*Are you bleeding? (Wait, let me get out my magnifying glass for this one...) "Here's a bandaid now get back to work" I say.

So a few days ago, when I noticed some teeny-tiny red spots on "Thomas's" hands and wrists, I didn't think much of it. I asked him if his wrists were itchy, and he said no. So I figured he was fine. He wasn't complaining about it!

It occured to me that I should maybe ask the nurse to look at it just in case, but it was the end of the day and I forgot.

Today, a different teacher sent Thomas to the nurse. This teacher is more caring, and clearly belongs to the first type of teacher.

After she examined him, the nurse came to find me right away. She interrupted my lesson and pulled me out in the hallway. She told me I needed to send Thomas home, and clorox down all the surfaces in my classroom immediately- anything he could have touched.

Why?

He has scabies.

The things we do for snow days

I never thought that Texas would be a state where I compulsively checked weather.com every ten minutes, but there you have it. After a record four snow days in a row last week, we're expecting ANOTHER one tomorrow!

 

And I've been educating my Texas teacher colleagues on all of the superstitious behavior I learned from my Michigan teacher colleagues!

 

If you're gunning for a snow day, make sure to:

 

1. Wear your pajamas inside out.

2. Throw ice cubes into the toilet.

3. Sleep with a spoon under your pillow.

 

Those are the main ones that "work." Did I miss any? If there are any regional superstitions in your area for a guaranteed snow day, send them my way!!

The quadruple bypass snow day

So as it turns out, I left out a type of snow day in my Educator's Reference Guide to Snow Days :
The Quadruple Bypass: When school closes for FOUR whole days in a row!!

It has turned my weekend into a six day weekend! Here's what I've been up to:

Eating

Making cards for my store

Making flower belts (tutorial here!)

Organizing a huge raffle/giveaway to support Amy, a fellow blogger in need. You can get all the details about that upcoming event here. I hope you'll join us!

Have you had a lot of luck with snow days this week? What have you been up to?

an educator's reference guide to snow days

Today marks our second snow day in a row! Our area of Texas got hit with freezing rain/sleet/snow. And the coldest temps in fifteen years! Unfortunately, we have to make up any snow days we take (but I'll just let Future Sarah worry about that!)

In the meantime, enjoy this handy reference guide to snow days:

Snow Days:

Standard Snow Day: You knew it was coming, and it came!

Over-hype Call: There was supposed to be a storm. They panic and call it. Then there's barely any snow.

The Perfect Storm: A huge storm is forecast. You get the call that school will be canceled tomorrow. And it's Thursday night. (Yay THREE day weekends!)

The Double Whammy: Same as The Perfect Storm but with more than one snow day in a row.

The Surprise Party: You had no idea there was any chance of a snow day. You wake up in the morning to a surprise call and get as excited as a kid at Christmas!

The Fun Snow Day: School is canceled due to freezing rain... which melts by the time you wake up!

The Too Cool for School: It's twenty below and too cold to wait outside for the school bus. Or start your car.

The Heart-breaker: A two hour delay instead of a snow day.

The Tormentor: A standard snow day, but your power is out. And the roads are too bad to go anywhere. You're cold, you're bored, and you wish you were at school after all.

The Missed Memo: You get to school, only to find out that the doors are locked and school was canceled while you were on your way.

The Hostage Situation: It's the Missed Memo, plus you get stuck at school because Mom and Dad dropped you off before you realized. And now the teachers are stuck because the kids can't be left at school alone...

Non-snow Days: 

The Over-hype: Everyone thought it was going to be the Snowpocalypse, and instead it's just overcast.

The Stubborn No-call: The weather is bad enough, but they won't call it because the last snow day was a mistake (see Over-hype Call) OR they've already called too many snow days.

The Odd Man Out: Every other district EXCEPT YOURS has called a snow day.

The Toughman Contest: There's an escalating war between superintendents to see who can tough it out the longest.

**This post could not have been written without my husband's expertise!**

What do you think... did we miss any?

like driving blindfolded

I'd been hearing rumors about it for months.

My supervisor would say strange things like "Quick! Order whatever you want for your classroom NOW! There's not going to be any money for anything next year..."

The news was reporting that many Texas districts would have to drastically cut programs.

Then we got a cryptic email from our superintendent with the number of dollars we were going to have to cut for next year. It was in the billions. That's with a "b" folks!

Our superintendent told us:

"If we cut all school buses, if we stopped feeding the children, if we stopped using any electricity, or providing any school supplies, it STILL wouldn't be enough savings to make up the deficit."

All this to let us know that, um, nothing and no one is safe! We'll know more by July, and I'm not too nervous because I'm feeling all safe with my special education degree (for now!).

But the reality is going to be hard to swallow next year. Teachers will be let go. There will be bigger class sizes, fewer aides, and close to zero supplies. And the kicker? We'll be expected to teach just as effectively!

who are you and what have you done with our principal?

Last Monday, the principal announced that instead of the professional development we were all supposed to have on Friday afternoon, we were going to do a "team building activity."

Cue the fear.

I had visions of rock wall climbing, relay races, role playing, and *gasp!* backwards trust falls.

She wouldn't give any more hints as to what we would be doing, except that we needed to make sure to wear comfortable jeans and sneakers.

When Friday finally rolled around, and all the kids were dismissed at noon for the teachers' "meeting", we all gathered together in the library.

In a very uncharacteristic move, our principal explained that the district had set aside this afternoon to look at assessment data. "But because we look at our students' data every other week for our intervention planning, I thought it would be better if instead we all went....

BOWLING!!!"

Cue the cheers and applause. And relief!!

Our event was paid for by a private donation, and we were all able to enjoy two hours of free bowling. Everyone had a great time, even though I'm pretty sure no one broke 100. (I don't think bowling is a Texas thing...)

Either way, it was just what our collective spirits needed during these tough winter days! Yay for GREAT administrative decisions!!

At least he didn't chuck a tomato

Since I teach in a regional program serving a low-incidence population (kids with hearing loss), I've become used to having visitors drop by. Other professionals may be curious, or representatives from other school districts want to evaluate our program for whatever reason.

Yesterday my supervisor dropped by with two strangers in tow. I knew they were coming, and when they walked in the door, I was in the middle of a language lesson about superlatives. (And in case you've forgotten all that you've learned about English grammar, here's an example of a superlative: smart, smarter, smartest.)

I was feeling all superior with my snazzy pictures (three different sizes of apples for "smaller than" and "smallest") and my sentence strips. But the lesson just wasn't clicking with four out of my five students. I was arranging the pictures on the pocket chart and labeling them with "smaller than" and "smallest".

I would prompt every once in a while with "Is this the right order?!"

And then...

while three adults were watching me...

one of my little first graders yelled "BOOOOO" right at me. Thumbs down and all!

I laughed nervously (my lesson was already going south), and directed a comment towards my grown-up audience: "Well, this is the first time I've ever been booed during an observation before!! Haha...ha."

I realized a little later that this student had actually booed in response to my question about the order of the apple pictures.

Why he didn't just say "No" is a mystery I'm still trying to solve.

Top 5 ways to ruin a first grader's day

Because of the holiday on Monday and our professional development day on Tuesday, we only have a three day week with the kiddos! It's the perfect excuse to kick the curriculum to the sidelines and do some fun and different things.

Today I read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (a personal favorite). It's great for teaching inferencing and drawing conclusions.

Later, we discussed some things that make us have a bad day. Here's what my first graders came up with:

1. when there's a bug in the house
2. when mom says no running in the store
3. when I have to play with my sister
4. when I can't sleep in the classroom
5. when I have to eat salad

Maybe, maybe not

There's nothing wrong with this short video in theory. It reminds kids that if you want something, you have work hard to attain it. That skills don't just fall into your lap, you actually have to practice. This is a good message.

But I saw it at our professional development day today, and it rubbed me the wrong way. I would just hate for some poor kid to dedicate his whole life to becoming an NBA star - putting in all that hard work, all that practice, all the sweat and tears. And maybe he makes to the NBA, but maybe not. Maybe he just ends up in division one basketball and that's it. Or maybe he makes the varsity high school team. But he doesn't accept that and his life becomes one big frustration... maybe even failure.

I'm not saying kids shouldn't strive to be all that they can be. But I am saying I'm getting a little sick of every Disney movie promising every kid that they can be whatever they want to be, all they have to do is BELIEVE!

I'm never going to be a famous singer. I can carry a tune, that's about it. If I was dedicated and practiced and took voice lessons, I could maybe join a choir somewhere and sound decent. But I won't be signing multi-million dollar record labels. There's something to be said about having a natural gift for something.

I think each one of our students has a lot of potential and many hidden talents and gifts. And they should be given every chance to grow their talents and gifts and become all that they can be.

But not everyone will be the next Michael Jordan. Not everyone CAN be.

running with the big dogs

Our nice friends who took our dog Barney for two weeks over Christmas asked us if we would return the favor this weekend.

Sure! What's a couple of days with an extra couple of pets around? Never mind that they're huge...

So for four days we have three cats and three dogs. Here are my observations so far:

* Big dogs eat A LOT. They might even eat more than we do.

* When a big dog jumps up to greet you, he's looking right into your face!

* A big dog fart reeks just as much as a small dog fart.

* A big dog still wants to sit on your lap. He doesn't think he's that big.

* When you're on the couch and you lean over top of a big dog, he doesn't whimper like a small dog. In fact, he barely even notices. Want to use the big dog as an extra couch pillow? No problem!

* When Max and I plus the three dogs are sitting in front of the TV, our couch seems suspiciously small.

* The kitchen floor is practically flooded from all of the vigorous water lapping.

* When a big dog accidentally pees in the house, you don't need paper towels to clean it up. You need TOWELS!

* Two of our three cats are ready to murder everybody.

The owners will be coming by tonight to pick up their two dogs. Barney will probably be catching up on his sleep tomorrow and the cats will most likely be catching their breath!

are you smarter than a first grader?

As soon as I saw the very first question of our district's reading benchmark test, I was ready to grab my purse, drive over to the central office, find the assessment center, and THROTTLE some people.

Now it's no secret how I feel about testing. There's lots not to like.

But the first question of this reading test (meant for FIRST graders) even stumped my husband - who's working on his Ph.D!

Here's the question (asked orally - the kids only have the answer choices in front of them):

Which word begins with the same sound as "safe"?

A.  swing

B.  map

C.  set

D.  slip

Are you scratching your head in confusion yet?

The correct answer is "C" because the other answers are S-blends. But it took me more than 60 full seconds to realize that. So I'm pretty sure my first graders didn't start their test with any sort of self-confidence!

In related news, it turns out that the people at the assessment center are idiots.

think with your head, not with your wallet

Dear School District,

I'm disappointed in you.

When you decided NOT to cancel or delay school today (unlike the 30 districts around us), you must have forgotten that not all the staff members live in town. Some of us have to drive quite a ways across those icy roads and through that freezing rain to come to school.

But apparently you were motivated by money, and not safety.

And while I inched my way to school, driving white-knuckled through traffic jams, I wondered how many of my students who are bussed in from 30 to 40 minutes away were going to be waiting for me.

The answer? Not enough kids to warrant following my lesson plans. Forty percent of them stayed home! I'll be honest, it was tough to have a good attitude after that.

I was even more resentful of your greedy decision-making policies when one of my colleagues got into a car accident and won't be able to come back for a few weeks.

So, School District, the next time that you think it's "safe enough" for the kids to come to school, don't forget about the staff!

Signed,
A Special Ed. Teacher

i knew all this trouble was worth it

We are still studying rocks in first grade science. Truthfully, we didn't get much science in during that last week before Christmas break (our thoughts were preoccupied with Santa after all) so now we are playing catch up. You might remember that the rocks unit is not my favorite unit to teach.

So it was with a bit of a sigh that I walked into the classroom with a small bucket of sand, 22 vials, and a pitcher of water. We were going to mix sand and water in a vial and observe what happened. Now don't get me wrong: I love to do hands-on activities. But SAND? I had visions of our classroom looking like a beach. And not in the relaxing way.

I started off the lesson by pleading telling them to be careful not to spill their sand and to remember to snap the cap on tightly. I explained the recording sheet and how they were going to record their observations. The kids nodded solemnly and promised to be responsible. Judging by the amount of wiggling and the high pitched murmurs throughout the room, most of them could barely contain their excitement as we went about filling our vials with sand and water.

In fairness to them, we only had one spill and it was mainly contained to a desk. And I totally felt like an awesome teacher when one of my little girls looked up at me with her chubby cheeks and lost-tooth smile and declared:

"Science ROCKS!!!"

Up next? a geography lesson!

We're reading a story this week about Tomas Rivera (a famous author). I sat my first graders down in a circle in front of me and we all opened our books.

The first line read: "Tomas Rivera was born in Texas."

I paused dramatically, wanting them to make a personal connection like 'hey, that's where we live!' So I said:

"Tomas Rivera was born in TEXAS?! Where do WE live?"

The responses were just as enthusiastic as my question and were shouted triumphantly and simultaneously by three of my students:

"At HOME!"

"At SCHOOL!"

"MEXICO!!!!!!!"

where's the remote control?

I'd love to have a remote control for life.

We're back to school today and it's a whopping ten weeks until our next break. Honestly, if I had a remote control, I'd fast forward to June!

In the meantime, I'm going to remember that this school year has been the EASIEST of my career. I only have eight kids. I practically just teach one grade level. I work with a fantastic team of teachers. None of my kids have major behavior issues and none of their parents are difficult (can I hear an AMEN?!). I've been off my principal's radar and have had no major issues with administration.

It's been an easy, breezy, beautiful year! I should probably just focus on that instead of the TEN. MORE. WEEKS.

happy new year!

Instead of sleeping in after a wild night of partying (as I imagine all of you cooler-than-me people did), we're taking a flight back to Texas today. That's kinda sad, mainly because: Texas = Not France.

Here are a just a few pictures of our lovely time here - from my dad's camera, because we were too lazy to upload ours just yet.

Local restaurant in Strasbourg

Shopping at the Christmas market

Eating at our favorite Greek restaurant in Germany

Visiting Belfort. It was cold!

My sister and brother-in-law solving some kind of marital dispute ;)

I hope your holidays were as joyous as ours were! Happy 2011!!

I wonder if I could take a sabbatical?

I used to make resolutions for the new year when I was younger because I thought that was the thing to do. I don't remember what they were (get a boyfriend!) or if I kept any of them.

Nowadays, I feel like the New Year starts in September with the return to school. Except on the eve of that new year, I'm not counting down to midnight and celebrating. More like.... going to bed at nine o'clock and crying about it (kidding! Kind of...).

This year for the first time in many, I have quite a few resolutions or, as I should call them: "things-that-I'd-ideally-like-to-accomplish."

They include but are not limited to:

*write more of that novel thingy I started
*use my sewing machine in more daring ways (buttons, and zippers, oh my!)
*keep better track of my etsy business dealings (have I made a profit yet? Who knows?!)
*make more items for my etsy store
*read more great novels (recommendations anyone?)
*volunteer somewhere local over the summer
*take an art class of some kind, just for fun!

But do you see the problem here? The one little thing that might prevent me from accomplishing all of those lovely resolutions?

It's called a day job.

yeah, someone might notice i'm missing

I'm too lazy to upload the pictures I currently have in my camera, so I thought I'd share an older picture of the cathedral in my parents' little French town:

We are still having fun with family here! Between braving the snowy roads to go on day trips, eating out at fabulous local restaurants that serve all my favorite dishes, and hanging out at home with board games and movies, I may just never return to Texas. My first graders won't miss me.... will they?

merry christmas

I hope you're all spending a wonderful day with family -- I know I am!

I wanted to share my favorite Christmas picture with you, back from 2008. We were trying to get a nice shot with me, my brother, and my sister. Right on "three", my brother reached around and tickled both my sister and me, resulting in this lovely spontaneous snapshot:

Hope your Christmas is filled with as much merriment and JOY!

"bored" games

Are you bored yet?

Sometimes it's easy to get bored on vacation. I used to, but now I have too many hobbies to get bored! If you're searching for things to do with family, there are always board games!

Here are some of my favorites to play with family:

Apples to Apples - so great for a crowd!

Settlers of Catan - a bit more complex, but addicting nonetheless.

Balderdash - even if you don't think you're smart, you can totally win this. And even if you lose, I guarantee you'll be too busy laughing your head off to notice.

Pictionary - an oldie, but a goodie. Brush off the dust from your old copy-- you'll be surprised at how much fun it STILL is!

What are some of your favorites?

where in the world is sarah?

I haven't been around the blogosphere all that much, but I did want to pop in and say that we're enjoying ourselves with my parents here in France.

Instead of picturing me in the classroom, you can picture me here:

Local village in Alsace, France 

The vineyard trail behind my parents' house

I hope you're having a lovely holiday!

i'll be home for christmas

Tonight, our flight leaves for France, where I'll get to see my parents for the first time in 2010.

When I was little, I would always annoy my parents with "Are we there yet?" when we were on long car trips. Since I couldn't conceptualize time well, my mom would calculate hours in episodes of Sesame Street. She would say: "Almost honey, only three more Sesame Streets." And that would maybe shut me up for one more Sesame Street before I had to ask again.

It's going to be 16 hours of travel time, folks. That's 32 episodes of Sesame Street.

Christmas craziness

The days right before a school vacation are always rather chaotic and stressful. I always have a million things to do, like make sure my lesson plans are ready to go for the week we get back, and clean my desk off so I don't feel overwhelmed with clutter in January.

Oh, and in my infinite wisdom, I decided to schedule two IEPs this week so that I'm EXTRA busy with a whole boatload of paperwork right before the holidays. Smart, huh?

And of course, I want to be a happy and fun teacher this week, scheduling special holiday projects and reading special seasonal books with the kids. I even have a little craft planned (a photo frame project I picked up last January at 90% off -- gotta love those sales!).

But the coup de gras is going to be when we come to school in our pajamas for a special showing of "The Polar Express" in the auditorium!

What about you? What craziness do you have planned with your kiddos this week?

i'm tired too, kid

I have the first grade Winter Program songs stuck in my head.

If you're a Kindergarten, first, second, or even third grade teacher, you most likely know the special hoopla that I'm talking about when I say "Winter Program". The rehearsals. The hand gestures. The lining up by  height. The repetitive music. The crowd control.

Yes, it's a very special time of year.

Tomorrow evening, my class will be taking the stage to sing their little hearts out (loud enough, I hope) for their family members. We only have two songs, and for days they've been lodged in my brain - right between the Christmas-countdown-cortex and the Are-we-there-yet-lobe.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I try not to get too worried about singing loud enough, remembering all the gestures and pauses, and standing completely still between songs. I have a theory that parents kind of relish the cute mess-ups anyway!

I just hope that no one calls out in a loud and whiny voice: "I'm TIRED!" like someone did during the last rehearsal.

Counting down

As a teacher, I feel like I'm always counting down to something. Thanksgiving weekend. Christmas break. Spring break. The last day of school. The next potty break.

I think this is partly why I love advent calendars so much... not only for the chocolate, but for the counting down! I remember my first year of college, I bought myself SIX chocolate advent calendars. I felt so rebellious. I know... you're scandalized.

Right now, I'm counting down until I get on a plane to France and visit my parents who I haven't seen in over a year!! We're skipping out of town a full day early. I don't like to miss all the Christmas parties at school, but my own celebration takes priority. Plus we're saving hundreds of dollars just by leaving on a Thursday instead of a Saturday!

Anyways, it's only FIVE MORE DAYS until we are on our way here:

What exciting plans are you counting down to?

the fat cat sat on the mat

We have three cats, and ever since we've moved to Texas into a house with no stairs, we've watched them steadily get fatter and fatter. It doesn't matter that they each get half a cup of food total per day. Somehow, they're still packing on the pounds.

So, Santa came a little early for them and brought them a five foot tall cat tree in the hopes that it would provide them with a bit of exercise. (Santa got a bit of exercise trying to fit the cat tree in the car, let me tell you!).

Thankfully, all three of them took to it right away:

And here's my favorite shot:

Does Santa bring your pets anything for Christmas?

it's funny because it's true

My father-in-law is a high school teacher and he passed along this video to me. If you've EVER been a teacher or if you've ever had to deal with less-than-competent administration, then you will find this video hilarious! I promise it's worth five minutes of your time:

Is this what meetings are like in your school? :)

Field trip fail

Usually, I'm a fan of field trips. Usually.

But I wasn't a fan of Friday's field trip. We took 45 first graders to the IMAX to see "Bugs in the Rainforest" and the kids were beside themselves with excitement!

I'm not sure which IMAX worker billed this experience as "perfect for grades 1 through 5" (maybe someone with no kids), but it wasn't at all appropriate for our first graders. Somewhere between the ultra-close up of a frog feasting on a fly in all its gory glory, and the two praying mantises doing it, I started hoping that none of the children would be haunted by nightmares.

At the end of the film when the caterpillar/chrysalis/butterfly whose life we'd been closely following ended up getting eaten by the praying mantis (again with the close ups of every bloody detail), we gave up hope for any redeeming quality of the movie.

How did the kids handle it? They all came up to us afterwards and bragged about how NOT scared they were. Which we all know in first grader-ese means: "I almost cried and peed my pants but I'm saving face in front of my friends."

boo! sight word game

No, this isn't a belated Halloween post, this is a sight word game I've been meaning to share with you for a while!

 

I first started playing "Boo!" about three or four years ago. It's a very simple game that kids CLAMOR for. All you have to do is write down a bunch of sight words, one per note card. Or you could be all savvy and just print out the mini-cards from the Dolch kit website, and then cut them apart. On two separate note cards (or mini-cards), write "BOO!". Mix them all together in some sort of box or bag (preferably not see-though).

 

Then, the kids take turns picking one card out of the bag. If they can read it, they can keep it (or in my case, I'll help them read it if they're struggling - you can be as cut-throat as you want with this game). The person with the most cards at the end is the winner.

 

The catch? If you happen to grab a "Boo!" card out of the bag, you have to put your whole pile of cards back in!

 

It's so fun to watch my first graders play. I let them play on Friday (after we've practiced the week's sight words) and they count down the days until they can play again. I just love that they are obsessing over a game that reinforces their decoding skills!!

 

Do you have any sight word games or activities you like to play in your classroom?

name that rock

We're studying rocks in science right now. I'll be honest: it's my least favorite topic. But I try really hard not to let my 22 first graders know that.

 

"We get to study ROCKS this week! Yaaaayyyy!" I told them.

 

There was a collective cheer (aka: deafening roar) when I told them we were going to go outside for a little rock hunt. I like it when they're excited. It makes me smile, but it also makes me nervous. I have to jump to the worst conclusions about their behavior, then lay out my expectations:

 

"Okay, but we'll be walking aroung the playground not running. Will we climb all over the playground equipment? NO! There is no fighting over the rocks. If we see fighting, you'll be sent back to the classroom without a rock."

 

"Oh, you can only pick ONE rock. Even if you found four or five that you really love, you have to pick your favorite one."

 

"And please only pick a rock that's small -- if it can't fit in your pocket, it's too big!"

 

They promised readily and faithfully to follow my instructions, and for the most part, they were pretty good! When we got back to class, they drew their rocks in their science journals, then wrote a sentence or two describing it.

 

"My rock's name is Sonic!" one boy told me. He continued, and shook his head solemnly: "The saddest thing about a rock is if it doesn't have a name...."

Back to the grind

There's just something that's psychologically worse driving 21 straight hours back from a vacation rather than to a vacation. Something about the thought of ten pounds of kitty litter waiting for you instead of happy family times waiting for you.

Nevertheless, the trip home went as smoothly as could be expected. We listened to a lot of NPR podcasts, ate a lot of unhealthy food, and at one point Max said: "Your eyes are fat." Yes, that many hours in the car can make you loopy!

Well, the housecleaning and the unpacking is calling my name, so I'd better go take care of that. Fun, huh?

Black Friday Madness

I've long ago given up on getting up at butt o'clock and standing in line for Black Friday sales. In truth, I realized that I never bought for anyone else, it was all just for ME! And anyway, at 28 I'm kind of an old fart and I'd much rather laze around in my pajamas instead of battling crowds...

This year, for the first time ever, I'll be participating in the Black Friday madness, with my very own sale over at my store, Yes Teacher Crafts. From now until Saturday, 11/27 at 11:59 PM, you can use the coupon code BLACKFRIDAYSPREE to get 20% off the entire store!

Happy Shopping!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;

Count your gains instead of your losses.

Count yoru joys instead of your woes;

Count your friends instead of your foes.

Count your smiles instead of your tears;

Count your courage instead of your fears.

Count your full years instead of your lean;

Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.

Count your health instead of your wealth.

-Author unknown

why yes, we are insane

Yesterday, we spent a whopping 20 straight hours in the car driving from Texas to Michigan. (We're blessed to have the whole week off for Thanksgiving!). We left at 4:20 AM and got there at 1:35 AM (technically 2:35 with the time change). Here are the highlights of the trip:

6:03 AM
Max turns off the radio. We sit in silence for a minute or two. I ask: "So, is this going to be a silent car trip, then?" Max: "SHHHH!"

7:38 AM
Max is driving. He suddenly puts both hands in the air, shouting: "LOOK! No hands!!"

11:45 AM
I say: "Hasn't Barney been great? He's been so content on my lap this whole time, he hasn't even whined."
Barney: "whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine."

5:54 PM
Max: "I couldn't pee in my pants, even if I wanted to."

8:59 PM
Max: "Is time standing still or is it just me?"

11:14 PM
Max: "If it wasn't for Christianity, I'd probably be a sociopath."

secret shopping spree

With the paddle no longer available for use in public education, teachers have had to get creative. We take away recess, or computer time, or make the child sit away from his friends at lunch. We positively reinforce with all kinds of systems... I've heard of kids being rewarded with sitting in the teacher's chair, with taking off their shoes in the classroom, with using the shredder, or with the promise of some bubble wrap to pop.

 

I have consequences on my mind.

 

Yesterday, a little first grader in the general ed. class was asking over and over and over and over if he could go to the book fair. [This is our week for the Scholastic book fair!] His behavior had been terrible all day, so we told him no... he could go tomorrow once he turned his behavior around. He kept asking to go anyway. The teacher got down to his eye level, and repeated herself slowly and firmly.

 

"Do you understand?"

 

He nodded yes.

 

A few minutes later, he asked to go to the bathroom. I think you know where this is going.... He came back about ten minutes later with a brand new book in hand.

 

Oh boy. He was in T-R-O-U-B-L-E. His teacher confiscated his book for the day, and called his mom after school was let out. Once she explained what had happened to his mother, and asked what course of action would be most appropriate, this is what mom said:

 

"Oh well, he never does things like this. The other boys told him he would be a loser if he didn't, so it's alright. Go ahead and send the book home with him tomorrow."

 

Um... excuse me? I just had a vision of him as a sixteen year old, standing at the doorstep with a cop by his side and the mother saying: "Oh well, he's never done drugs before. The other boys told him he would be a loser if he didn't, so it's alright. Go ahead and just let him stay home."

 

But who knows.... maybe she gave him a consequence after she got off the phone with the teacher. It just struck me as a very inappropriate response to the incident!

fur baby

On Friday, we dropped in on my dad. That's actually a huge statement since my parents still live in France! But he was flying out for a quick visit to his mom/my grandma in California and on the way, he had a layover at a nearby airport.

So Max and I dropped by! It was fun to go to an airport just to see someone. All the fun, but no traveling hassles. Dad was happy to see us, of course, but wondered why we hadn't brought the dog? (No grandkids in our family yet, so they have to settle for grand-dogs...)

Since we didn't bring Barney, I thought I would share some recent pictures of our fur baby.

 

sub-par

Substitute teachers. It's really the luck of the draw unless you have someone you can trust that you go to every time you're sick. I'm not sure what the qualifications are for subs in my school district, but after what happened on Friday, I don't think they're picky about it. I think the top priority is: warm body.

You'll note from my last post that my co-teacher is out sick. [Technically, she feels fine, but she's completely lost her voice, and really what's the point of coming in then?]. I had to sub for her on Thursday, but they actually found someone on Friday. I'll call him Mr. C. The "C" stands for Creepy.

When I met him, right away he started complaining about THAT AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN in the front office who had the audacity to change his substitute assignment. I'm not sure if he was being racist or just spiteful, but his tone of voice was very angry.

Then, he proceeded to call me SWEETIE for the entire day. In retrospect, I should have said something after the first time, but he said it as I was walking out the door, and I was so shocked I just kept walking.

After lunch, when I picked up my deaf ed. kids from him to go to Language Arts in my own classroom, I needed to get the mic from him. [I wear a mic every day that transmits directly into my kids' hearing aids. It's on a lanyard and looks like a necklace.] He was wearing it around his neck, along with some other ID lanyards. He couldn't get it off his neck [or something....] so he asked me to take it off for him.

I chalked this up to his incompetence, and took the mic off from around his neck. It wasn't until like ten minutes later when I thought: "Ew. Creepy!"

Later as I was teaching, I realized that he had sprayed very pungent cheap men's cologne all over, and it had seeped into the lanyard attached to the mic. By the time I realized where the awful smell was coming from, it had rubbed all against the back of my shirt collar. I smelled like Mr. Creepy for the rest of the day. The creepiness burned in my nostrils until I could get home and change my shirt.

When I brought my kids back to the regular ed class for dismissal, the entire first grade class was outside at recess and left 18 pots of playdoh left OPEN, and piles of playdoh were strewn about the desks. Um, hello? Common sense, anyone? That stuff dries out!

And then, judging from the pile of sawdust by the teacher's desk, and a first grade "informer", I gathered that Mr. C had himself gotten sick and thrown up all over the floor.

I don't know who was worse. Mr. C, or the second grade sub that day who literally fell asleep in his chair while the kids were in the room.

can't wait till she comes back

Once upon a time, I used to think I might want to teach general education someday.

 

But I forgot.

 

And today, as I was informed ten minutes before the first bell rang that I would be subbing for my co-teacher, I was reminded of why I should stick to special ed.

 

Even though I know this class of first graders well, and I know all of my co-teacher's rules and procedures, I found myself stressed out and longing for an escape.

 

There's just something about 23 bodies vs. 6 that seems like so much more. There were children and more children everywhere I turned, each with their own level of noises. I had to pee, and couldn't leave the kids with an aide. I HAD TO HOLD IT. Like some kind of "real" teacher. I had to worry about submitting the attendance report and parent pick ups. There were just so many more wiggles to let out and mouths to stop.

 

I guess I didn't realize how easy I had it with my little group of six in the afternoon. Sure, they each have their issues, but there are ultimately only six bodies to keep track of. And I can deal with that without wanting to take a personal time-out!

validation from a first grader

After weeks of dedicated practice with their sight words, my six students finally earned their ice cream party. They got all of their "bubbles"!

So yesterday, I set out the big tub of ice cream, the chocolate syrup, and the rainbow sprinkles, and we all dug in! There were lots of giggles and "yums" all around the table. Some kids stirred their sundae all around so that it became like a milkshake. One kid tattled on those kids.

But my favorite part of the afternoon was when "Miguel", chocolate syrup mustache in place, pointed an ice cream-covered finger at me and declared:

"You're NICE!"

rules of the first grade

Rules of the first grade; a short list:

1. If there are nine pairs of red scissors, and one pair of yellow scissors, you must fight to the death for the yellow scissors.

2. If the teacher doesn't see your raised hand, it's perfectly acceptable to leave your desk and go tap on her arm to get her attention.

3. Even though your class takes a collective bathroom break, it's better to hold it in. That way, you can ask to go to the bathroom later, during math.

4. It's okay to take a toy to school with you, especially if you're really good at hiding it.

5. If there's a cricket/cockroach/fly/moth in the classroom, it's your responsibility to stop instruction and direct everyone's attention to the critter. Crying, yelling, pointing and saying "ew" are all acceptable ways in which to command everyone's attention.

6. It's okay to talk to your neighbor when a classmate has the floor, but it's inexcusable that someone else should be talking when you have the floor.

7. Whoever gets away with the most silly antics as we line up in the hall, wins.

8. As you walk single file down the hall, if student number 12 gives a high five to a teacher passing by, students 13 through 23 also get to give that teacher a high five.

9. During share time, if one student tells the class that they went to a Chinese restaurant over the weekend, three to five more students need to share how they went to a BETTER Chinese restaurant over the weekend.

10. You're special. The classroom rules really just apply to everyone else.

Maybe jumping jacks are the answer

It takes approximately nine minutes to take 23 first graders to the bathroom. I'm in charge of the boys' line. Around the corner, my co-teacher supervises the girl's line.

It's the worst nine minutes of my day.

Honestly, what is it about school bathrooms that makes little boys want to play around? Is it the chance to crawl under the stalls? Is it that your female teacher can't go in there (or so they think!)? Is it the tantalizing rolls of toilet paper, or splashing your friend at the sink?

I have to constantly poke my head through the door and say things like: "No crawling!" "Do you want to be on yellow today?" (that's the warning color) "Stop playing in there", and "I WILL come in there!"

Not only that, but then there are the 18 others I have to keep in line in the hall. And I feel bad for them: expecting them to stand still without talking for nine straight minutes when the principal doesn't allow us to go out for recess. Ever.

gingerbread vindication

About three weeks ago, Max and I were in the car on our way to Braum's for an ice cream cone. On the way there, I happened to mention how a colleague of mine was bragging that she never had to buy her own drink in college, pretty girl that she was. With that conversation fresh on our minds, we ordered our cones from the man behind the counter.

 

Max ordered first. As the man was serving his ice cream, I noticed a bit of an effeminite vibe to him.

 

Then I ordered. I was sadly disappointed that I only got about HALF of the amount he gave Max. Either he was gay, or I wasn't pretty. So I decided he was gay. I shot him and Max dirty looks as I ate my pitiful little ice cream cone.

 

Fast forward to this past Sunday. I had been bugging Max all weekend about the pumpkin donuts from Dunkin' Donuts and just how awesome they were. So when we passed a Dunkin' Donuts on the way home from church on Sunday, I convinced him to stop.

 

I ordered a pumpkin donut from the young man behind the counter. Max ordered chocolate creme. We paid for our purchase.

 

But just as we were about to leave, I noticed that there were GINGERBREAD donuts on the rack. And sometimes I have issues censoring myself, so I blurted out: (with a noticeable tinge of excitement and urgency)

 

"GINGERBREAD DONUTS!!! I didn't know you made those!!"

 

The young man behind the counter asked if I wanted to try one.

 

"Oh, but... we already paid," I said.

 

"That's okay." And then he slipped a free gingerbread donut into our bag.

 

And that gingerbread donut was delicious... and not just because it was free!

 

 

(Oh, and if you're wondering, I did share the free donut with Max. There's no sense ticking off the person who cooks your meals...)